Question 1

Why do people most often get angry?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 4:4-5The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.Numbers 22:29“You have made me look like a fool!” Balaam shouted.1 Kings 22:15-27“Didn’t I tell you?” the king of Israel exclaimed to Jehoshaphat. “He never prophesies anything but trouble for me . . . Put this man in prison, and feed him nothing but bread and water.”2 Chronicles 16:7-10“Because you have put your trust in the king of Aram instead of in the Lord your God, you missed your chance to destroy the army of the king of Aram.” . . . Asa became so angry with Hanani for saying this that he threw him into prison.2 Chronicles 26:16-21“Get out of the sanctuary, for you have sinned.” . . . Uzziah, who was holding an incense burner, became furious.Esther 3:5When Haman saw that Mordecai would not bow down or show him respect, he was filled with rage.Anger is often a reaction to our pride being hurt. When we are confronted, rejected, ignored, or don’t get our own way, anger is a defense mechanism used to protect our ego. Feeling angry is common when we have been confronted about our sinful actions, because we don’t want others to think we have done something wrong.1 Samuel 18:8This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands.”Anger is often a reaction of jealousy to what others own or have accomplished.1 Samuel 25:10-11, 21“Who is this fellow David?” Nabal sneered to the young men. “Who does this son of Jesse think he is? There are lots of servants these days who run away from their masters. Should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I’ve slaughtered for my shearers and give it to a band of outlaws who come from who knows where?” So David’s young men returned and told him what Nabal had said. “Get your swords!” was David’s reply as he strapped on his own. Then 400 men started off with David, and 200 remained behind to guard their equipment. . . . David had just been saying, “A lot of good it did to help this fellow. We protected his flocks in the wilderness, and nothing he owned was lost or stolen. But he has repaid me evil for good. May God strike me and kill me if even one man of his household is still alive tomorrow morning!”Often, we become angry when we are insulted or slighted. David was so enraged by Nabal’s insults that he was ready to kill him and everyone in his household until Abigail intervened.

Question 2

What are the effects of anger?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 27:41-43Esau hated Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “. . . I will kill my brother, Jacob.” But Rebekah heard about Esau’s plans. So she sent for Jacob and told him, “. . . Flee to my brother, Laban, in Haran.”Anger can isolate us from other people.Psalm 37:8Stop being angry! . . . Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.James 1:19-20Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.Anger can produce ungodliness and evil motives in us.1 Samuel 20:30-31Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan . . . “As long as that son of Jesse is alive, you’ll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!”Anger can spawn evil motives and lead to ungodly actions. Left to grow unchecked, anger can eventually produce thoughts of violence that can even lead to murder because it blinds us to what is right and good. Saul’s jealous anger blinded him to the fact that God had already chosen David to be the next king. As a result, Saul plotted to kill David.Genesis 4:1-12This made Cain very angry . . . One day . . . Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.Anger in its strongest form produces thoughts of violence that can even lead to murder.Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.Anger leads to conflict and arguments, and harsh words feed the fires of anger even more.

Question 3

What angers God?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 4:25“Do not corrupt yourselves by making idols of any kind. This is evil in the sight of the Lord your God and will arouse his anger.”Romans 1:18God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.Ephesians 2:2-3You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.God cannot ignore or tolerate sin because sin is a deliberate violation of his righteousness and makes him angry. God knows that when we sin, we are causing destruction and suffering in his world. The suffering caused by sin makes God sad and deeply angry. In his righteous anger, God judges and punishes guilty sinners.Judges 2:12-14They abandoned the Lord . . . This made the Lord burn with anger against Israel.When people deliberately turn away from God and abandon him, God becomes angry because he created them for relationship with himself—the only means to a truly abundant life. Their rejection of God is also a rejection of God’s eternal goodness and love.Malachi 3:5“At that time I will put you on trial. . . . I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.God gets angry when people neglect or abuse the unfortunate and those in need.

Question 4

Is God angry with me?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 34:6-7The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. But I do not excuse the guilty.”Psalm 7:10-11God is my shield, saving those whose hearts are true and right. God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.Psalm 18:26-27To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud.God cannot tolerate sin because it is a rebellion against his rule and all that is good. Any kind of sin or evil angers him because it brings destruction and suffering to the people and world he loves. But he is always ready to forgive because he is kind and merciful. Those who humbly confess their sins and turn to him in faith receive God’s abundant love and mercy instead of anger.Psalm 30:5His anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.Psalm 145:8The Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.The Bible promises that God is kind and merciful and always ready to receive us with love. The “always-angry God” is one of the worst caricatures ever attributed to God. God expresses his anger toward his children through gentle discipline; it is his love in action.

Question 5

How can I stop God’s anger against me?

Accepted Answer

2 Chronicles 12:12Because Rehoboam humbled himself, the Lord’s anger was turned away.Humility quenches God’s burning anger.Psalm 30:5His anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime!1 John 1:8-10If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.To stop God’s anger against us, we need to recognize God’s discipline, turn away from our sinful actions, ask him to forgive us, and enjoy a restored relationship with him.

Question 6

How can I control my anger?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.Proverbs 29:8Mockers can get a whole town agitated, but the wise will calm anger.1 Peter 2:21, 23God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. . . . He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.Jesus teaches that giving in to anger is sin. In addition, giving in to anger gives power to the cause of your anger. Striking back invites the other person to strike back harder. When anger wells up inside us, we should quickly ask God to help us respond appropriately, without escalating the conflict with retaliation.Psalm 4:4Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.Proverbs 19:11Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.Thinking through an issue ahead of time and planning a gentle response will help us restrain ourselves when the time comes. Then we will not only keep from sinning, but we will earn the respect of our enemies by displaying good sense and self-control.Psalm 37:8Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.Ephesians 4:26And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.Ephesians 4:31-32Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Learning to bring our emotions under the Holy Spirit’s control is part of the process of maturing spiritually. Anger can either be an emotional response that can be managed for productive results or a volatile reaction that can hurt and destroy. It must be dealt with quickly before it turns into bitterness, hatred, or revenge. We must train ourselves to examine our hearts whenever we become angry. Then we will be able to determine who is really offended in the situation. Is this about God’s honor or our pride? Are we acting with humility or in revenge? Confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation must happen within us before our anger can melt away.Proverbs 25:23As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!We can control anger by guarding what we say, especially our comments about others. Criticism or casual remarks are often retold, sparking hurt and anger in their wake. We must be careful to share only those comments others wouldn’t mind hearing.1 Corinthians 13:5Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.Love is the mightiest weapon in overcoming anger. Staying angry at someone is difficult when we pray for them and think about their positive qualities.

Question 7

What are the benefits of restraining anger?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.Proverbs 19:11Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.Proverbs 29:11Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.Rarely will we regret having kept our temper. Whereas venting anger breeds more anger, restraining anger often cools the fires of conflict. Restraining our anger is a clear indicator of our wisdom and maturing character.

Question 8

When I am angry, what should I avoid doing?

Accepted Answer

2 Corinthians 2:5-7I [Paul] am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.James 3:5The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.We should avoid punishing in the heat of anger. More often than not, we will regret the words we say and the actions we do as we overreact to a situation.1 Samuel 19:9-10As David played his harp, Saul hurled his spear at David.We should avoid acting on impulse in the heat of anger because we may do something that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Question 9

When is anger appropriate?

Accepted Answer

Numbers 25:10-11“Phinehas . . . has turned my anger away from the Israelites by being as zealous among them as I was.”Anger at sin is not only appropriate, but necessary.Mark 3:5He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!John 2:15-17He [Jesus] drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. . . . he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”Jesus’ righteous anger arose from his devotion to God and compassion for others. It led to good deeds not bad.

Question 10

Everyone gets angry at times, so what should we do about it?

Accepted Answer

Ephesians 4:26-27And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.We should stay under the control of the Holy Spirit through prayer, and try to resolve our anger quickly. Anger is like a skunk in the house—the smell permeates all aspects of our lives. We should not encourage the “skunk” to stay by feeding it. We need to get rid of it as soon as possible.Matthew 5:21-24You have heard that our ancestors were told, “You must not murder” . . . But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! . . . Go and be reconciled to that person.We should calmly communicate with those with whom we are angry in order to restore our relationship. This will likely involve listening to them and truly seeking to understand what is behind the conflict. If we reach out with unselfish concern for the other person, we will likely be able to gain a hearing.1 Corinthians 13:5Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.Love is the mightiest weapon in overcoming anger. We will find staying angry at someone quite difficult when we concentrate on how much we love them and on their loveable qualities.

Question 11

How does anger impact my effectiveness?

Accepted Answer

Numbers 20:9-12“Listen, you rebels!” he [Moses] shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out . . . But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!”Proverbs 14:29People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.Our patience is often tried to its limits. The persistent complaints and accusations of the people drove Moses to anger. Even when God gave the assurance of providing water, Moses could not restrain his anger and deliberately disobeyed God. Moses’ anger cost him the fulfillment of his mission to enter the Promised Land. Failure to restrain our anger may mean failure to realize our God-given dreams.Matthew 5:21-22“You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment!”Anger harms others and ourselves more than we realize. Anger brings judgment against us because it is an attack on people created in God’s image. Our primary call is to bless people, not curse them.

Question 12

How do I control anger within my family?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 11:29Those who bring trouble on their families inherit the wind.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.Knowingly provoking a family to anger consumes that family’s love—the force that binds it together. We may be able to control or manipulate our families by expressing anger, but we will have lost their love and respect. Eventually we will lose them, too.

Question 13

What is the best way to deal with an angry person?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.Proverbs 22:24-25Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.Proverbs 29:8Mockers can get a whole town agitated, but the wise will calm anger.We can learn to give calm and gentle responses. Reacting to anger with anger almost always intensifies the problem. Responding with wisdom and gentleness almost always calms an angry person.

Question 14

How can I avoid disciplining out of anger?

Accepted Answer

Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Hebrews 12:6The Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.We should avoid disciplining someone until our anger has subsided. When we discipline someone, we must make sure our hearts are filled with love for that person, not anger. Our discipline should be appropriate to the offense and meant to correct the wrong behavior. It should never be an expression of anger.