Question 1

What is the importance of modesty?

Accepted Answer

1 Timothy 2:9I [Paul] want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.1 Peter 2:12Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.Modesty involves more than our clothing—a neckline or skirt length. It involves an entire lifestyle, being confident in who we are, yet humble in how we portray ourselves. It is something God calls all Christians to be, men and women.1 Corinthians 6:19Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself . . .1 Peter 3:3-4Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.Modesty focuses on inward beauty, the kind of beauty that remains strong and graceful long after our bodies turn old and frail.Jeremiah 9:23-24This is what the Lord says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord.”Flaunting our bodies, our wealth, even our intelligence is disrespectful to others and distracts from our Christian witness.Matthew 6:1“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.”“Holier than thou” modesty is a form of pride. True modesty is grounded in humility.

Question 2

How should I show modesty in my behavior?

Accepted Answer

Romans 13:13Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.Ephesians 5:8Once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!Titus 2:12We are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God.If we have committed ourselves to following Jesus, our behavior should reflect his behavior as much as possible. We can show modesty by avoiding wrong and indecent behavior, and by serving others with grace and kindness.Colossians 3:12-13Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Romans 12:16Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!Modesty always goes hand in hand with offering grace to others. People are imperfect. They may annoy us or fail us. They may simply be boring. But we have our limitations, too. Christ gave us everything when he died for us. He died for those people, too. Recognizing how much Christ loves the people who annoy us—and learning to value them as Christ does—takes modesty.

Question 3

Do I have a responsibility to be a “gatekeeper” against sexual sin?

Accepted Answer

Job 31:1“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.”Matthew 5:27-28“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”1 Corinthians 10:13The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.God promises that temptation—even sexual temptation—will never be more than we can bear. A godly man has no excuse for indulging in sexual sin, regardless of how someone acts or dresses.Romans 14:21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble.1 Timothy 2:9I [Paul] want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.You aren’t responsible for someone else’s sexual sin. However, you should be wise in how you act and dress. This is part of our responsibility to protect others around us from stumbling in destructive ways.

Question 4

Does being modest mean I shouldn’t try to look nice?

Accepted Answer

Ecclesiastes 9:7-8So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!Matthew 6:17“When you fast, comb your hair and wash your face.”Matthew 7:20“Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”1 Corinthians 6:19-20Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.Colossians 3:17Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.We should not be obsessed with physical appearance, but neither should we ignore it. How we present ourselves is, in part, a reflection of who we are and plays a role in our ability to interact with others. Our bodies are dwellings of the Holy Spirit, so we should protect and care for the place where he lives. The more we keep ourselves fit and healthy, the more energy we will have to serve him. Keeping our bodies clean and pleasant-looking provides more opportunities to become involved in other’s lives and influence them with the good news of Jesus. However, dressing in a provocative way that tempts someone of the opposite sex, or showing off our wealth in a way that humiliates others is immodest and inappropriate.

Question 5

Can I show modesty and still have fun?

Accepted Answer

Nehemiah 8:10Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”Proverbs 13:9The life of the godly is full of light and joy, but the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.Matthew 25:21“The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’”1 Timothy 3:2So a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach.Modesty is not about a lack of emotions, fun, or celebration. Joy, fun, and celebration, as God intends, are important parts of Christian faith because they lift our spirits and help us see the beauty and meaning in life. However, even in celebration, our appearance and conduct should not be provocative or inappropriate.John 2:9-10When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!”Revelation 19:6-9Then I [the apostle John] heard again what sounded like the shout of a vast crowd or the roar of mighty ocean waves or the crash of loud thunder: “Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.”God is not opposed to fun, celebration, or enjoyment. He created them! Jesus miraculously provided wine for a wedding as his very first miracle, and the return of Christ will initiate a wedding feast where all of heaven and earth will celebrate!1 Peter 4:3You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.Modesty is violated when our fun becomes self-centered or indulgent, when it involves sinful acts, or when we put ourselves in conditions that can easily tempt others to sin.

Question 6

How do I know what is modest enough?

Accepted Answer

Romans 14:12-13Each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.The Bible does not outline precise rules for what we should wear. Modesty is a matter of discernment, and what comes across as very modest in one culture might be considered the opposite in another culture. We should avoid condemning other believers over things that are not clear-cut. However, each of us has a responsibility to consider how our actions, including how we dress, could affect others around us. We may not be responsible for the sins of others, but we can help reduce the power of their temptations.James 1:10-11Those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field. The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.1 Timothy 6:17-19Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.The world often measures success by net worth, and many people find their confidence in what they own. As Christians, our confidence is in Christ, not our finances. Wealth—and the status that comes with it—is temporary. Recognizing that, is the first step toward financial modesty.Matthew 6:1-2“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get.”It is possible to be generous without being modest, but most often, modesty and generosity go hand in hand. Someone who gives to impress others will only give enough to accomplish that goal. Someone who gives to serve others will go beyond that. A person who is both generous and modest will give to causes that genuinely bless peoples’ lives—not necessarily the causes that make the biggest public splash. If you would give the same amount even if no one knew what you had done, then that’s a good sign you are living with financial modesty.John 3:28-30“You yourselves know how plainly I [John the Baptist] told you, ‘I am not the Messiah. I am only here to prepare the way for him.’ . . . Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.”John the Baptist is a powerful example of modesty. He was bold and confident, caring more about sharing his message than about what others thought about him. He gathered disciples to teach, yet was quick to send them away to follow a greater teacher—Jesus. John cared more about his mission than his status. When we find ourselves fully engaged in serving others, rather than worrying about how we appear to them, we are reflecting that same modesty.