Question 1

What causes loneliness?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 2:15, 22Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in the land of Midian. . . . Later she [Moses’s wife, Zipporah] gave birth to a son, and Moses named him Gershom, for he explained, “I have been a foreigner in a foreign land.”When we experience unfamiliar places, people, and situations, we often feel loneliness. Moses had to flee the only home he had ever known. Even after starting a family in the land of Midian, Moses named his first son Gershom, which means “a foreigner there.”Ruth 1:5Both Mahlon and Kilion died. This left Naomi alone, without her two sons or her husband.Loneliness often comes after we lose a loved one.1 Kings 19:10Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”Loneliness can come from feeling alone and unsupported in our beliefs and goals.Genesis 37:28When the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.Loneliness can come after betrayal.Job 19:2“How long will you torture me? How long will you try to crush me with your words?”Proverbs 16:28A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.Harsh or deceptive words often create hurt and distrust, which leads to loneliness.Genesis 3:7-8At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees.Guilt and shame can cause us to isolate from God and others. This ultimately leads to a deep loneliness.

Question 2

Did Jesus experience loneliness?

Accepted Answer

Isaiah 53:3He [the Messiah] was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.The famous prophecy about Jesus in Isaiah 53 described the deep sorrow and isolation Jesus would experience as he faced his crucifixion.Mark 14:32-37They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray.” He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” . . . Then he returned and found the disciples asleep. He said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?”Mark 14:45-46As soon as they arrived, Judas walked up to Jesus. “Rabbi!” he exclaimed, and gave him the kiss. Then the others grabbed Jesus and arrested him.Mark 14:50All his disciples deserted him and ran away.Luke 22:54-61So they arrested him [Jesus] and led him to the high priest’s home. And Peter followed at a distance. . . . A servant girl noticed him in the firelight and began staring at him. Finally she said, “This man was one of Jesus’ followers!” But Peter denied it. “Woman,” he said, “I don’t even know him!” After a while someone else looked at him and said, “You must be one of them!” “No, man, I’m not!” Peter retorted. About an hour later someone else insisted, “This must be one of them, because he is a Galilean, too.” But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter.The cross wasn’t the only kind of pain Jesus experienced. In the hours leading up to his crucifixion, the time when he most needed his friends, they betrayed, abandoned, and rejected him. Jesus certainly knows what it is like to be lonely.

Question 3

Why does God allow loneliness?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 2:18-20Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.God did not intend for us to be lonely. On the contrary, it was God who recognized Adam’s need for companionship. He gave Adam the task of naming the animals so that Adam could recognize his own need for a human companion. It was then that God created the woman.Ruth 1:8-9Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back to your mothers’ homes. And may the Lord reward you for your kindness to your husbands and to me. May the Lord bless you with the security of another marriage.” Then she kissed them good-bye, and they all broke down and wept.1 Samuel 20:41David bowed three times to Jonathan with his face to the ground. Both of them were in tears as they embraced each other and said good-bye, especially David.Proverbs 16:28A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.Acts 15:38-39Paul disagreed strongly [with Barnabas], since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated.1 Thessalonians 2:17Dear brothers and sisters, after we were separated from you for a little while (though our hearts never left you), we tried very hard to come back because of our intense longing to see you again.We live in a fallen world, where we will often be separated from friends and family for various reasons. Sometimes, we have to say goodbye when a friend moves away. Sometimes, different values and life experiences cause us to drift apart. Sometimes, we are lonely because we have hurt those we care about, and they have left us. Sometimes, our friends stop being our friends for reasons we don’t understand. God doesn’t want us to be lonely, but he allows people’s actions in this life to take their natural course. In each of these circumstances, he promises to comfort and guide us through them.Romans 5:12When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.John 11:32-37When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”Revelation 21:4“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”Because of sin, death came into the world. All of us experience the death of someone we love at some point in our lives, and the separation it brings can leave us feeling lost and powerless. God hates sin and death. Jesus experienced the pain of a close friend’s death, and even though he knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead, he was moved to tears with sadness for Lazarus and his sisters. Though our loved ones may not be raised as quickly as Lazarus, that miracle was only a small reminder of God’s power over death. When Jesus returns, he will raise all the dead to life, and all who believe in him will spend eternity together with him. On that day, death itself will die, and we will never be lonely again.1 Kings 19:4-18Then he [Elijah] went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.” . . . But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Then the Lord told him, “. . . anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from the town of Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet. . . . I will preserve 7,000 others in Israel who have never bowed down to Baal or kissed him!”Romans 8:38-39I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.The prophet Elijah went through a time of despair, loneliness, and suicidal thoughts. Queen Jezebel had killed many of Elijah’s friends and fellow prophets, and now, hiding alone in the wilderness, Elijah felt like he was the only follower of God left in Israel. God responded by comforting Elijah with food and rest (1 Kgs 19:5-8), then encouraged Elijah that he was not alone. There were 7,000 other Israelites still serving God faithfully, and God would lead Elijah to a helper—Elisha—to carry on his prophetic work. When we are lonely and discouraged, we should turn to God as Elijah did. God is always at work behind the scenes, preparing the right people for when we need them most.Matthew 7:9-11“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”Luke 18:1One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.James 1:2-4When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.1 John 5:14-15We are confident that he [God] hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.God delights in giving good gifts to his children—and he longs for us to live in loving relationships with one another. We should never give up praying for the relationships we long for. However, God sees a larger picture that we do not. Our time of loneliness may be a time when he leads us to grow closer to him. It may be a time when he teaches us how to be a better friend and truly value the relationships we have. It may even be a time when he prepares us to minister to others who are lonely (2 Corinthians 1:4). Regardless of when God answers our prayer, we can keep praying, listen for his leading, and be confident he has our best interests at heart.Matthew 28:20“Be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”John 15:15“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”Hebrews 13:5God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”Sometimes, God allows us to experience times of loneliness so we will learn to lean on him fully and completely. God has promised he will always be there for us. He calls us his friends. Nothing can separate us from him. When others disappoint us, we can cling to him.Matthew 4:1-2Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry.1 Corinthians 10:13The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.Hebrews 4:14-16Since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.Times of loneliness are often times of testing. Temptation often comes when we are longing for human attention or lack friends to keep us accountable. Our Savior understands that temptation. Even when we lack human help, Jesus is always there when we need him most.2 Corinthians 1:3-4All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.There will always be lonely people in the world: the elderly widower whose wife died years ago; the new kid at school; the college dropout estranged from his family; the woman whose social life is limited by her chronic sickness; the immigrant who is struggling to learn English. Sometimes God allows us to experience times of great loneliness so that our compassion and understanding toward others can grow. Then, not only will we receive his comfort, but we will be strengthened to bring this same comfort to others.

Question 4

How can God help me with my loneliness?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 23:4Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.Psalm 27:10Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.Psalm 139:17How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!Being lonely does not mean we are unlovable or deficient. God values us, loves us, and promises never to leave us.1 Kings 19:4Then he [Elijah] went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”Exodus 5:22-23Then Moses went back to the Lord and protested, “Why have you brought all this trouble on your own people, Lord? Why did you send me? Ever since I came to Pharaoh as your spokesman, he has been even more brutal to your people. And you have done nothing to rescue them!”Loneliness can lead us into discouragement, despair, and temptation. Don’t give up on God when you are lonely. Be careful not to distance yourself from the One who wants to be with you always.1 Kings 19:10Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”Matthew 11:2-3John the Baptist, who was in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?”1 Peter 4:19So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.Sometimes we may feel alone in our stand for God. We may even struggle with doubt like Elijah and John the Baptist. Find strength in knowing there are others who are equally committed and that God rewards our bold commitment to him.Daniel 1:3The king ordered Ashpenaz, his chief of staff, to bring to the palace some of the young men of Judah’s royal family and other noble families, who had been brought to Babylon as captives.Daniel 6:10When Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God.Daniel had been taken from his country and his family. Following God put him at greater risk for persecution. Yet Daniel prayed regularly—not only for help, but out of thankfulness. No matter what we have lost, and no matter what pressures weigh on us, we too can be thankful for God’s presence in our lives.Hebrews 10:25Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.Romans 12:5We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.The best way to avoid loneliness is to meet together with other believers. Get involved in a local church. Get busy with God’s people doing God’s work.Deuteronomy 31:6“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”Isaiah 41:10“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”John 14:1“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.”Loneliness can cause us to be afraid, and that fear can drive us deeper into isolation. Reminding ourselves that God is with us and fighting for us can help calm our fears.Genesis 40:23“Within three days Pharaoh will lift you up and restore you to your position as his chief cup-bearer. And please remember me and do me a favor when things go well for you. Mention me to Pharaoh, so he might let me out of this place.” . . . Pharaoh’s chief cup-bearer, however, forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought.Exodus 6:12“But Lord!” Moses objected. “My own people won’t listen to me anymore.”Deuteronomy 33:27“The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you.”Psalm 27:10Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.Psalm 147:3He [the Lord] heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.Proverbs 18:24There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.Hebrews 13:5God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”Sometimes, people we depend on desert us, abandon us, or turn away from us. Each of us may only have a few people we can truly count on—at times, we may not have any. But we can always count on God; he will never abandon us.

Question 5

How can I help people who are lonely?

Accepted Answer

James 1:27Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.3 John 1:5Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you.We should befriend the lonely, visit them, and invite them into our homes. Often, in caring for those who are lonely, our need for company will be met as well in ways we didn’t expect.Matthew 25:45“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’”1 Corinthians 12:21-22The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.Philippians 2:3Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.James 2:1-4How can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?Often, lonely people feel unimportant. Sometimes, others treat them as unimportant. But they are not unimportant to God. Don’t stop with showing lonely people that you love them—show them that you respect them, too. Discover what they are passionate about, knowledgeable about, and good at, and encourage them to use those gifts. Ask about their experiences, listen to them, and learn from them. God has given each of us a valuable role in the body of Christ, but some of us are more confident in our role than others. When we encourage the lonely that they are valuable and needed, we show Christ’s love and we build up the body of Christ.

Question 6

Why does it often feel “lonely at the top”?

Accepted Answer

Numbers 11:14“I [Moses] can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy!”Psalm 25:16Turn to me [David] and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.It is often lonely at the top because only the leader understands the full burden of the organization, the cares of the people, and the demands of the “big picture.” Leaders feel ultimately responsible for the care of the people and the success of the project. They also often take the most criticism, undeserved or otherwise.Acts 15:37-39Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.Matthew 26:40Then he [Jesus] returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?Leaders are sometimes lonely because they wonder whom they can trust. They need friends and allies they can be candid with and whom they can trust to complete assigned tasks. They need allies who will stand with them in lonely times.Genesis 12:1The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you.”Acts 22:18-21“I saw a vision of Jesus saying to me, ‘Hurry! Leave Jerusalem, for the people here won’t accept your testimony about me.’ ‘But Lord,’ I argued, ‘they certainly know that in every synagogue I imprisoned and beat those who believed in you. And I was in complete agreement when your witness Stephen was killed. I stood by and kept the coats they took off when they stoned him.’ But the Lord said to me, ‘Go, for I will send you far away to the Gentiles!’”Sometimes, leaders are called to unfamiliar places and people, which can be very lonely.Proverbs 13:24Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.2 Corinthians 7:8-9I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways.A parent of a young child doesn’t have a peer relationship with that child. While the relationship may be loving and healthy, there are times when the parent must discipline the child because of the parent’s position of responsibility. During such times, the child may not fully understand the discipline and become angry at the parent. Leaders of all kinds—not just parents—often have a difficult time balancing their desire to be liked with the need to discipline their followers. This responsibility often creates distance and loneliness in those relationships.Genesis 37:28When the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.Acts 7:29-30When Moses heard that, he fled the country and lived as a foreigner in the land of Midian. There his two sons were born. Forty years later, in the desert near Mount Sinai, an angel appeared to Moses in the flame of a burning bush.1 Kings 19:3-10Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day.Matthew 14:1-2Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry.James 1:2-4When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.Many believers have gone through periods of loneliness and suffering. God often uses those times to shape leaders for the task he is calling them to.Exodus 4:13-15Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” Then the Lord became angry with Moses. “All right,” he said. “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he speaks well. And look! He is on his way to meet you now. He will be delighted to see you. Talk to him, and put the words in his mouth. I will be with both of you as you speak, and I will instruct you both in what to do.”Exodus 18:17-22“This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people’s representative before God, bringing their disputes to him. Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives. But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. . . . Let the leaders decide the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you.”Luke 6:12-13One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles.Acts 9:26-27When Saul arrived in Jerusalem, he tried to meet with the believers, but they were all afraid of him. They did not believe he had truly become a believer! Then Barnabas brought him to the apostles and told them how Saul had seen the Lord on the way to Damascus and how the Lord had spoken to Saul. He also told them that Saul had preached boldly in the name of Jesus in Damascus.Sometimes, a leader is afraid or overwhelmed. Other times, a leader might lack the experience or connections to accomplish the task alone. Even Jesus, a perfect leader, chose twelve apostles to help him in his work and to continue it after he was gone. It is healthy and good for leaders to seek the help of others. Don’t be discouraged from praying persistently for God to send the right helpers your way, and don’t be afraid to approach people and ask.

Question 7

How can I grow relationships to overcome my loneliness?

Accepted Answer

Romans 12:10Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.Galatians 6:2Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.Philippians 2:4Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.Colossians 3:12-14Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.The best way to gain healthy friendships is to be a good friend to others. If we only want friendships to validate ourselves, that selfishness will push others away. If we show that we genuinely care about others, they will enjoy being around us.Proverbs 19:20Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.We should seek advice about our relationships and consider the insights of others. It may be that our own behavior is pushing people away. It may be that we are merely taking the wrong approach. It may be we are doing everything right, but the right people haven’t yet come into our lives. If we are humble and willing to listen, the observations of others can help provide us with clarity and direction.Proverbs 17:9Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin.Ephesians 4:32Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Sometimes, loneliness comes from broken relationships. Offering forgiveness and asking for forgiveness ourselves can restore relationships we thought we had lost. When we give others a second chance, we are imitating Christ’s own love for us.John 13:35“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”Romans 12:4-5Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.1 Corinthians 12:12-18The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. . . . If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it.Hebrews 10:25Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.We were made to be part of the body of Christ. God has a special purpose for each of us within his church, a way we can bless the other members of the body. And those other members have been given gifts for blessing us. Each of us should be engaged with our local church, not simply attending, but serving the body of Christ. God designed the church to be our foundation of godly relationships.Matthew 23:11“The greatest among you must be a servant.”Acts 20:35“And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”Philippians 2:4Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.When we meet the needs of others through service, we often find fresh hope and purpose. Such service moves our mind away from loneliness and self-pity and connects us to others in a positive way. Best of all, it allows us to reflect Jesus’s love to people who need it.Proverbs 7:10-19The woman approached him, seductively dressed and sly of heart. . . . “Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses, for my husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip.”Proverbs 22:24-25Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.1 Corinthians 15:32-33[Some say] “Let’s feast and drink, for tomorrow we die!” Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”Galatians 1:10I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.When we are lonely, we may become desperate for attention. This can tempt us into the wrong kinds of relationships—and a life enslaved to pleasure-seeking and people-pleasing. We should focus on honoring God first in all our relationships.