Question 1

What does the Bible say about the role of fathers?

Accepted Answer

Luke 11:11-13“You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”Hebrews 12:5-11Have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?Fathers must love their children. That means more than just giving them good gifts; it also involves giving corrective discipline.Genesis 25:28Isaac loved Esau . . . but Rebekah loved Jacob.Genesis 37:3-4Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.Fathers should never show favoritism for one child over another. The consequences for showing favoritism are tragic and have negative effects for generations.Deuteronomy 4:9-10“Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren. Never forget the day when you stood before the Lord your God at Mount Sinai, where he told me, “Summon the people before me, and I will personally instruct them. Then they will learn to fear me as long as they live, and they will teach their children to fear me also.”Deuteronomy 6:6-9“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”2 Timothy 3:15You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood.Fathers are to take responsibility for teaching their children to love God and his Word. This requires more than being a good example. Yet eventually children bear the responsibility for their own lives. Fathers are responsible not only to teach their children biblical truth, but also to consistently model for them lives of obedience.Proverbs 1:8My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.Proverbs 3:11-12My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.Proverbs 29:15To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.Hebrews 12:10-11Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.We need to instruct and discipline our children when they disobey. Discipline is not enjoyable—either for the one receiving it or the one giving it. We can be tempted to avoid discipline because of the pain and even conflict that comes with it. Discipline, however, is a sign of love. Fathers who discipline their children care more for their children’s well-being and character than they care about their children’s immediate approval. Over time, discipline confronts harmful habits and strengthens godly habits, leading children to healthier, happier lives.1 Samuel 2:29“Why do you [Eli] give your sons more honor than you give me—for you and they have become fat from the best offerings of my people Israel!”1 Samuel 3:13“I [the Lord] have warned him [Eli] that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them.”1 Samuel 8:1-3As Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons to be judges over Israel. Joel and Abijah, his oldest sons, held court in Beersheba. But they were not like their father, for they were greedy for money. They accepted bribes and perverted justice.1 Kings 1:6Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?” Adonijah had been born next after Absalom, and he was very handsome.Fathers must make sure that God is honored as the head of the household. Eli’s sons were rarely challenged and never disciplined. Too often the home revolves around the children instead of around God. Parents do their children a favor when they sincerely seek what God wants for their children, not what they want. Indulgent parents do not help their children develop character and often enable self-destructive tendencies.

Question 2

What are some of the responsibilities of a father?

Accepted Answer

Luke 18:15One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them.A godly and wise father leads his children to Jesus.Hebrews 11:23It was by faith that Moses’ parents hid him for three months when he was born. They saw that God had given them an unusual child, and they were not afraid to disobey the king’s command.A godly and wise father exercises great faith for his children and seeks to protect them from dangerous situations.Proverbs 4:3I, too, was once my father’s son, tenderly loved as my mother’s only child.A godly and wise father loves and protects his children.Proverbs 1:8My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.A godly and wise father teaches his children God’s ways.Deuteronomy 8:5“Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.”Proverbs 13:24Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. A godly and wise father disciplines his children with the same firm but loving hand that God shows him.Mark 10:7“‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife.’”A godly and wise father raises his children to become mature and independent adults.

Question 3

How should I go about disciplining my children?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 13:24Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.Hebrews 12:7-11As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.We must discipline our children with love. If we have their safety and well-being in mind, we will discipline them in order to protect them.Proverbs 19:18Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.Discipline is almost always most effective when done right away because it makes the cause and effect of the punishment more relevant. This is especially true for younger children. Your smaller children may need more discipline to teach them what is safe and right. As your children grow older, you will probably need to discipline them less and less as they put into practice the things they have learned.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Never discipline out of anger because the only thing it teaches a child is to react in anger. If you are angry, calm down before you discipline. When you are calm enough to discipline, be sure to explain to your children what they did wrong, that you love them, and instruct them in how to do better next time. Then they will not only learn from their mistakes; they will also learn how to react in love, not anger. But remember also that failing to discipline your children at all doesn’t communicate genuine love to them.Colossians 3:21Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.Discipline should be done without causing long-term aggravation and discouragement. Aggravating your children only takes the focus off your love and concern for them. This is discouraging for children because they don’t see the point of the discipline, only the discipline itself. They may not be ready to accept the reason and your motivation for discipline, but if given with love, they will remember it positively later.Hebrews 12:10Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.The Bible is full of wisdom on how to deal with children and the proper perspective on them. God presents himself as the ultimate example of wise parenting. Commit these words of wisdom to heart and devote yourself to putting them into practice.Luke 15:20“So he [the prodigal son] returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”The mark of a loving father is the willingness to forgive, even when our children have wronged us.

Question 4

How am I to treat my own father?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 20:12“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”Leviticus 19:3“Each of you must show great respect for your mother and father, and you must always observe my Sabbath days of rest. I am the Lord your God.”We should honor and respect our fathers.Matthew 15:5-6“But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition.”1 Timothy 5:3-4Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God.When parents are in need, their adult children should show respect for them by caring for them.Proverbs 19:26Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace.Proverbs 20:20If you insult your father or mother, your light will be snuffed out in total darkness.Proverbs 30:11Some people curse their father and do not thank their mother.We should treat our fathers and mothers with kindness, respect, and gratitude.Proverbs 23:22-25Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old. Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment. The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.Living a wise and godly life is the greatest gift we can give to our fathers.