What does the Bible say about the role of fathers?

Luke 11:11-13“You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

Hebrews 12:5-11Have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?

Fathers must love their children. That means more than just giving them good gifts; it also involves giving corrective discipline.

Genesis 25:28Isaac loved Esau . . . but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Genesis 37:3-4Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.

Fathers should never show favoritism for one child over another. The consequences for showing favoritism are tragic and have negative effects for generations.

Deuteronomy 4:9-10“Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren. Never forget the day when you stood before the Lord your God at Mount Sinai, where he told me, “Summon the people before me, and I will personally instruct them. Then they will learn to fear me as long as they live, and they will teach their children to fear me also.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-9“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

2 Timothy 3:15You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood.

Fathers are to take responsibility for teaching their children to love God and his Word. This requires more than being a good example. Yet eventually children bear the responsibility for their own lives. Fathers are responsible not only to teach their children biblical truth, but also to consistently model for them lives of obedience.

Proverbs 1:8My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.

Proverbs 3:11-12My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

Proverbs 29:15To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.

Hebrews 12:10-11Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

We need to instruct and discipline our children when they disobey. Discipline is not enjoyable—either for the one receiving it or the one giving it. We can be tempted to avoid discipline because of the pain and even conflict that comes with it. Discipline, however, is a sign of love. Fathers who discipline their children care more for their children’s well-being and character than they care about their children’s immediate approval. Over time, discipline confronts harmful habits and strengthens godly habits, leading children to healthier, happier lives.

1 Samuel 2:29“Why do you [Eli] give your sons more honor than you give me—for you and they have become fat from the best offerings of my people Israel!”

1 Samuel 3:13“I [the Lord] have warned him [Eli] that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them.”

1 Samuel 8:1-3As Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons to be judges over Israel. Joel and Abijah, his oldest sons, held court in Beersheba. But they were not like their father, for they were greedy for money. They accepted bribes and perverted justice.

1 Kings 1:6Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?” Adonijah had been born next after Absalom, and he was very handsome.

Fathers must make sure that God is honored as the head of the household. Eli’s sons were rarely challenged and never disciplined. Too often the home revolves around the children instead of around God. Parents do their children a favor when they sincerely seek what God wants for their children, not what they want. Indulgent parents do not help their children develop character and often enable self-destructive tendencies.