How should I go about disciplining my children?

Proverbs 13:24Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Hebrews 12:7-11As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

We must discipline our children with love. If we have their safety and well-being in mind, we will discipline them in order to protect them.

Proverbs 19:18Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

Discipline is almost always most effective when done right away because it makes the cause and effect of the punishment more relevant. This is especially true for younger children. Your smaller children may need more discipline to teach them what is safe and right. As your children grow older, you will probably need to discipline them less and less as they put into practice the things they have learned.

Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Never discipline out of anger because the only thing it teaches a child is to react in anger. If you are angry, calm down before you discipline. When you are calm enough to discipline, be sure to explain to your children what they did wrong, that you love them, and instruct them in how to do better next time. Then they will not only learn from their mistakes; they will also learn how to react in love, not anger. But remember also that failing to discipline your children at all doesn’t communicate genuine love to them.

Colossians 3:21Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

Discipline should be done without causing long-term aggravation and discouragement. Aggravating your children only takes the focus off your love and concern for them. This is discouraging for children because they don’t see the point of the discipline, only the discipline itself. They may not be ready to accept the reason and your motivation for discipline, but if given with love, they will remember it positively later.

Hebrews 12:10Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.

The Bible is full of wisdom on how to deal with children and the proper perspective on them. God presents himself as the ultimate example of wise parenting. Commit these words of wisdom to heart and devote yourself to putting them into practice.

Luke 15:20“So he [the prodigal son] returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”

The mark of a loving father is the willingness to forgive, even when our children have wronged us.