Principle 6: Communicate Well And Often.

UNCOMMON WISDOM

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! . . . The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

—Proverbs 15:23, 28

UNCOMMON PRACTICE

Take a few moments to select one of this week’s practices to explore further. The related Adventure Application appears just below each practice. If you’d prefer to come up with a different way of living out that practice this week, feel free to discuss what that might look like.

Learn as much as you can about each other and how you each communicate before you get married.

This week, if your spouse communicates in a way that perplexes or irritates you (or doesn’t communicate at all), remind yourself that it’s unlikely he or she is trying to bother you. Then consider the possibility that he or she is simply wired to respond that way.

Accept others’ input when making decisions, but listen the most to God and to each other.

Are you facing a major decision? Take it to the Lord in prayer—together—and discuss it with each other. Ask the Lord to give you His peace and comfort in the process.

Find a way to talk daily about what is happening in each other’s life.

Do you set aside time regularly to talk with your spouse about his or her day? If so, keep it up! If not, discuss what is keeping you from connecting daily. How might you work that into your schedule?

Listen to and value your spouse’s intuition.

Do you and your spouse sometimes disagree about the best course to take? Could it be that one of you is more trusting and the other person more skeptical? Or are there some other terms to describe the different ways you see the world? Take a few minutes to discuss your approach.

Remember that complaining will always bring you down; gratitude will lift you up.

Imagine your life as a long-distance race. How well are you cheering each other on? Would you say that a spirit of gratitude or of complaint more often characterizes the way you approach your spouse?

Model regular communication through family meetings.

Do you have regularly scheduled family meetings? If so, do you need to make any tweaks for them to be more effective? If not, talk about whether they might make sense for your family.

UNCOMMON PRAYER

Take a few minutes to discuss any praises and needs you’d like to bring to God as a couple. Then, in addition to praying about those things, use one or more of the following prayer prompts to ask the Lord to help you communicate with each other more regularly, lovingly, and clearly.

Praise God for one or more of His many attributes, remembering that only when we get our focus off ourselves and on to Him will we find reasons to be grateful in all circumstances.

If you found yourself grumbling or complaining this week, confess that to God. Ask Him to give you a heart that overflows with gratitude this week.

Seek the Lord’s guidance as you consider any decisions this week. Ask that He would give you peace and a sense of harmony as you move ahead.