Creating A Godly Blueprint

CORE PRACTICE #72: Remember that the way you are relating to each other is creating a blueprint for your kids.

I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders. —Psalm 78:2-4

Lauren

When I was young, my parents planned their dream home. I still remember them sitting down every evening to discuss each aspect of the home—the location, the style, the features. My dad, being in real estate, knew the best place to build and what the size of the lot should be. My mom had more expertise when it came to the features of the home—its design, style, and layout.

As they talked, one thing became clear: It wasn’t her house, nor was it his house. It was theirs. They worked together, and they pored over the plans and talked about them every day for months. During that time, they heard each other’s wish list. We all knew that our new home was a joint project.

Looking back, I realize they were developing another set of blueprints at the same time. By communicating openly and with respect, they were showing me and my siblings how a married couple should relate to each other. Tony’s parents were doing the same for him and his brothers and sister. Much of who Tony and I are today was shaped by how we saw our parents talk to each other, deal with each other, and handle disagreements.

My mom is a strong-minded woman of faith. She’s a godly, Proverbs 31 woman. Tony says that I am very much like her. By contrast, Tony is very analytical—just like his father was. Whenever something comes up that Tony isn’t sure how to handle, he still figures out a way to get it done . . . after carefully mapping the course. Watching his dad triumph over challenges has guided Tony so many times over the years.

We are now working to do for our children what our parents did for us—create a godly blueprint of how to relate to others. The blueprint does more than give them an example of how to treat their spouse one day. It shows them how to treat everyone they meet today. It also provides a sense of security for our children. They feel safe because the people they count on the most love each other and will always be there for them.

Just as our parents were for us.

Adventure Application: What “blueprint” are you leaving for your children? If you’ve never thought about this before, you might spend a few minutes brainstorming the qualities you’d like others to see as they watch you interact. What is one change you can make this week to provide a better model of positive communication?