All In The Family

CORE PRACTICE #58: Care for the needs of your spouse’s family as an expression of your love for your husband or wife.

But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers. —1 Timothy 5:8

Lauren

When we commit to love, honor, and obey our spouse until “death us do part,” our minds and hearts are usually focused directly, and only, upon each other.

That’s how it should be.

And yet we need to understand that when two people exchange vows, they each also double the size of their extended family. As the apostle Paul makes clear in the Scripture passage above, these are people they need to get to know better and to love, in all settings, no matter what.

We should view these new relationships as a privilege and another of God’s gifts to us through our marriage. The opportunity to care for them, to help them in moments of need, and to provide companionship can no doubt be challenging, yet we need to view these relationships through God’s eyes.

Often, it’s our parents who most need our help as they age. For Tony and me, this first became an issue in 2000, when his mother’s health really started to decline. After breaking her hip while visiting us, she was largely confined to a wheelchair. I was concerned and told Tony, “If anything happens to your dad, we need to have her come and stay here.” Though his mom died the following year—several years before his dad’s death—I discovered that my commitment to care for his mom meant a great deal to Tony.

Likewise, his commitment to honor and help my mom, Doris, is a source of great joy for me. I’ve always been very close to her, but our relationship has grown even closer since my dad died. Doing things to help my mom is a blessing for our entire family, and we love to have her come visit and spend time with us. Last Christmas we decided to purchase a big flat-screen television for her to enjoy in her home. I really don’t know who felt best when it was delivered: Mom, because of the gift; me, as I saw the joy that this gift brought to her; or Tony, knowing I felt so good about doing something special for my mother.

My eyes were only on Tony on our wedding day, but I’m grateful that we both willingly extended that love to our family members who had helped make us who we were. What a privilege.

Adventure Application: Do you need to reach out to help someone in your spouse’s family? Don’t wait to be asked. Offer to do something for that family member, and then make sure you follow through. Not only will you be loving as Christ commands us to do, but your spouse will be grateful and feel loved.