You’re So Predictable—thank God!

You’re So Predictable—Thank God!

Encourage each other with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4:18

Leslie and I were driving around town doing some errands when the conversation turned to a familiar subject. You know the one: “What do you want to do for dinner tonight?” In our home we’re a bit on the spontaneous side with this activity. While some couples plan out their meals by the week, we often seem to decide on what we’ll eat about the time we’re starting to feel hungry.

That’s why, after naming a few options for our meal, I suggested the old standby: spaghetti.

“I knew you were going to say that.”

And I’m sure she did. I bet we have spaghetti at my suggestion almost every week. We almost always have what’s needed to make it in the pantry, and it always tastes good. I guess you’d call it a routine. And chances are you have certain routines too. How many times have you and your spouse uttered the words I knew you were going to say that to one another? If you’re like most married couples, even if you’ve been married for just a short while, you’ve come to expect certain reactions and behaviors from your spouse. Why is that? It’s because personalities are fundamentally predictable. Thank God!

Can you imagine trying to be married if you never knew what to expect from your spouse? A marriage couldn’t survive if behavior was not basically predictable. Imagine if one day your spouse was extremely laid back and easygoing and then the next day was extremely intense and regimented! You’d be living in chaos. Without relative consistency from your spouse, marriage would be an unbearable roller coaster ride.

Of course, we’ve all had married moments when we say something like this: “I would never have predicted you would want to do that!” That’s because even with a relatively consistent set of traits, our personalities make room for a smidge of the unpredictable. And that’s not bad, either. Changing things up, on occasion, can get us out of boring ruts. But for the most part, you can take comfort in knowing that your spouse’s personality (as well as your own) will remain pretty predictable.

Take a moment right now to note a character quality in your spouse’s personality that gives you comfort, a trait that you are especially thankful for today, and why.

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.

—Iris Murdoch