How to Say “I Love You” without Uttering a Word

How to Say “I Love You” without Uttering a Word

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

1 John 3:18

Of all the little expressions of love—a box of chocolates, a handwritten poem, or a bouquet of handpicked wild flowers—I think my favorite is a good old-fashioned kiss. Whether it be the gratuitous kind that comes with greeting my husband after a day at work or the surprising ambush kiss while standing together in line at the grocery, I always feel especially loved when Les gives me a simple kiss.

Did you know the word kiss comes from a prehistoric syllable that is believed to be the sound of kissing? However it originated and whoever named it really don’t matter to me. I just know I like it. And why shouldn’t I? Kisses, according to a Danish saying, are the messengers of love.

But when it comes to public expression of love, married couples have more than kisses in their nonverbal vocabulary. Holding hands is another favorite of mine. It communicates affection, safety, and comfort. Science has even shown that simple hand-holding blunts the brain’s response to threats of physical pain (as any couple can attest to who is walking through a hospital ordeal together). Perhaps the loudest statement hand-holding makes is to others. It communicates more clearly than nearly anything else that you are a couple. Whether it is the simple grasp or the more intimate interlocking of fingers, holding hands is a great expression of love that keeps couples bonded.

Even more intimacy than holding hands is found in a hug. A warm embrace can be practiced publicly or privately without stigma. A hug is not only an expression of support and comfort but of romance and intimacy. Studies even indicate numerous biological benefits, like lowered blood pressure, to husbands and wives who frequently hug. But the greatest benefit of a hug is the love and affection it engenders for both the initiating and reciprocating spouse.

So if it’s been a little too long since these three common expressions of love—kissing, hand-holding, and hugging—have found their way into your daily marital routine, you may want to turn up the heat and be a bit more intentional about renewing your public and private displays of affection. These expressions may be the most important words you don’t speak all day.

The most important things are the hardest to say . . . because words diminish them.

—Stephen King