The Value Of Shared Activity

The Value of Shared Activity

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

It was the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle who said, “The quality of life is determined by its activities,” and he was right. But have you noticed that his statement is especially true when the activity is shared? It is. And for that reason we are devoting this meditation to one simple suggestion: If your spouse has been longing to share an activity with you and you’ve been resisting, give it some serious consideration. Maybe your spouse wants to share a bike ride or a walk around the neighborhood. Maybe it’s a game of tennis or antique shopping. It could be anything, big or small. Don’t make your spouse beg for it. Surprise him or her with a ready willingness to go.

Paula, who prized reading and a good nap during her free time, knew her husband wanted to rent a kayak at a nearby lake. He’d been talking about it all summer. But Paula dragged her feet on the idea because it just wasn’t something she wanted to do. So her husband eventually went off kayaking on his own. When he returned home, he went on and on about how great it was. “It’s so relaxing and freeing to be out there on the water,” he told Paula. But she interpreted that as pressure to join him. So she resisted even more. “That all sounds good for you, but it’s not my kind of thing,” she’d say. The topic was dead. He didn’t mention it anymore. The next Saturday, however, when her husband was going out again to kayak by himself, she volunteered to try it with him. “You would have thought I’d given him a gold bar or something,” Paula confessed. “I literally had no idea that this would mean so much to him. I hadn’t made him that happy for a very long time.”

You can do the same thing. It doesn’t take much. If you’ve been resisting a shared activity that your spouse wants you to join in on, consider an about-face and do it. You’ll double the fun for your partner, and it will surely bring you closer together.

Shared joy is a joy doubled.

—Swedish proverb