When It Doesn’t Come Naturally

When It Doesn’t Come Naturally

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15:12-13

I’M OFTEN ASKED, “What if your spouse’s love language is something that doesn’t come naturally for you?” Maybe his love language is physical touch, and you’re just not a toucher. Or gifts, but gifts are not important to you. Perhaps her language is quality time, but sitting on the couch and talking for twenty minutes is your worst nightmare. He wants words of affirmation, but words don’t come easily for you. Or she prefers acts of service, but you don’t find satisfaction in keeping the house organized. So what are you to do?

You learn to speak your partner’s language. If it doesn’t come naturally for you, learning to speak it is an even greater expression of love because it shows effort and a willingness to learn. This speaks volumes to your spouse. Also, keep in mind that your love language may not come naturally for your loved one. Your spouse has to work just as hard to speak your language as you do to speak his or her language. That’s what love is all about.

Jesus made it clear that we are to love each other as he loved us—and that is with the highest degree of sacrifice. Few of us are called to literally lay down our lives for others, but we are called to lay down our lives in small ways every day. Love is giving. Choosing to speak love in a language that is meaningful to your spouse is a great investment of your time and energy.

Lord Jesus, thank you for demonstrating for us the greatest kind of love. I’m in awe of your willingness to lay down your life for me. Thank you. Please help me to respond with a humble willingness to lay down my life for my spouse, even in smaller ways such as communicating in his or her love language.

Love Language