Putting Your Spouse First

Putting Your Spouse First

“A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.

Matthew 19:5-6

NO COUPLE WILL REACH their full potential in marriage without “leaving parents.” This has practical implications in the area of decision making because your parents may have suggestions about many aspects of your life. Each suggestion should be taken seriously, but in the final analysis, you and your spouse must decide for yourselves.

Once you are married, you should no longer make decisions on the basis of what will make your parents happy, but on the basis of what is best for your spouse. This means that the time may come when a husband must say to his mother, “Mom, you know that I love you very much, but you also know that I am now married. I cannot always do what you want me to do. I want to continue the warm relationship that we have had through the years, but my first commitment must be to my wife. I hope you understand.”

A husband must not allow his mother to control his life after he is married. This is not the biblical pattern. Instead, Jesus taught that a husband and wife become one when they marry—and no one should come between them to split them apart. The marriage relationship becomes your first priority. You must treat your parents respectfully while first and foremost remaining committed to your spouse.

Heavenly Father, I love my parents and want to please them, but I know that sometimes this can cause me to put their opinion above my spouse’s. Please help me to remember that my decisions must be primarily about what is best for my spouse, not what is best for my parents.

Parents