Expressing Regret

Expressing Regret

I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done.

Psalm 38:18

THERE ARE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES of apology, and one is regret. Apology is birthed in the womb of regret. We regret the pain we have caused, the disappointment, the inconvenience, the betrayal of trust. The offended person wants some evidence that we realize how deeply we have hurt him or her. For some people, this is the one thing they listen for in an apology. Without the expression of regret, they do not sense that the apology is adequate.

A simple “I’m sorry” can go a long way toward restoring goodwill, but that kind of apology has more impact when it is specific. For what are you sorry? “I’m sorry that I was late. I know that you pushed yourself to get here on time and then I was not here. I know how frustrating that can be. I feel really bad that I did this to you. The problem was that I didn’t start on time. I hope you can forgive me and we can still have a good evening.”

Including details reveals the depth of your understanding of the situation and how much you inconvenienced your spouse. When we confess our sins to God, as in the psalm above, we are usually specific about the wrongs we have committed and sincere in expressing our sorrow. We should extend that kind of apology to our spouse as well.

Father, I know that when my spouse expresses sincere regret, it makes a huge difference in how I perceive his or her apology. Please help me to extend that kind of apology to him or her as well so that we can deal with the wrongs between us.

Apology