What My Mom Taught Me

What My Mom Taught Me

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. . . . Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her.

My mom is one of my best friends. Of course, there are a few topics we don’t discuss in the same way that I do with my other girlfriends. She also doesn’t want to know about any shenanigans I got into as a teen, even though they happened nearly twenty years ago. But despite those omissions, I still consider her a close friend. We talk on the phone frequently, and we usually have coffee once a week.

I’ve learned a lot about friendship from my mom because she is a good friend herself. And now that we’re both adults, the same qualities that make her a good friend to her peers have held her in good stead as she and I navigate this season of our relationship.

Although the challenges I face now are a little weightier than what to wear to prom, the lessons I’ve learned from my mom have helped me be a true friend to others. From her words and example, I learned not to gossip. Even as a teen, I could tell my mom about friend drama and never worry that she’d whisper about it to someone else’s mom. She rarely gossips, and I trust her because of it. She also taught me to not offer unsolicited advice. Some of the most hurtful words I’ve heard regarding my parenting or career choices happened when someone tried to offer “helpful,” unsolicited advice. When I do ask my mom for input, she offers it in a careful, loving way. Finally, she taught me never to use guilt or manipulation to influence others. My mom doesn’t betray the trust I’ve placed in her by loading me up with guilt, and relationships that use manipulation are not healthy.

Both my mom and the woman described in Proverbs 31 demonstrate wisdom and kindness, two traits I value. Her model for relationships is one I hope I’m teaching to my daughters.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Consider what your parents or other trusted mentors taught you about friendship. Thank them for a lesson you learned from their example.