Will You Be My Friend? - Backdoor Friends

Will You Be My Friend? - Backdoor Friends

RED ROVER, red rover, will someone come over?

Steve and I lived in the same beautiful suburban town for over ten years before we developed a backdoor friend. We lived in three separate neighborhoods during that time and eventually decided something was really wrong with us. We asked each other, “Why don’t we have any friends in this town?” The answer: because we weren’t available. We both worked, and although we had children in school then, we were not involved in community projects that afforded us the opportunity to get to know others.

I was determined to connect with my neighbors, so finally Steve and I threw a party. Though it had a Key West theme, the underlying message was “Will you be our friend?” I put invitations, each addressed simply to “Neighbor,” in the mailboxes lining our street. And guess what? The neighbors came! Just a few weeks after the party, we had invitations for dinner, we visited with folks while out for evening walks, and we connected with those who lived next door. One couple, the month before we moved away, even became backdoor neighbors—friends who would call and say, “Wanna come over for dessert?” That’s right; no formal two-week-in-advance invitation. Just a five-minute warning that the cake was about to be cut.

We left our beautiful neighborhood and our wonderful neighbors to move to the hard, cold city of Dallas. I was heartsick that we might end up in the same lonely place—not knowing those who lived next door. But something very strange happened. Before we even spent our first night there, neighbors came by. They welcomed us. They visited with us. While we didn’t form friendships right away, at least we could put faces with names and houses! We threw another “Will you be our friend?” party and invited neighbors to come over to get to know us. We had a blast, and again—it worked like a charm.

Within weeks, we had met all our neighbors, developed a wonderful backdoor friendship with our backdoor neighbors (literally), and felt as if we belonged to the community.

Never abandon a friend—either yours or your father’s.When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance.It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away. (Proverbs 27:10)

If you want a backdoor neighbor, you’re going to have to make, if not the first step, a considerable step in getting to know those around you. Throw a “Will you be my friend?” party under the guise of any theme you desire (Memorial Day, holiday open house, backyard BBQ), and then unlock the back door.