Sticks And Stones - The Last Word

Sticks and Stones - The Last Word

It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own. —Jessamyn West

I’M PRETTY FAST on my feet when it comes to talking. Especially in a heated debate. I can usually articulate my position with the precision of a sharpshooter. And I can usually get in the last word.

I regret the way I’ve ended some conversations, however. Intent on strategizing my next verbal move in order to defend my position and honor, I believe I often failed to hear what the other person was thinking or the motivation behind their defense.

I know I did this with my mother. Anticipating what she was going to say, I was like a boxer in a ring, bouncing on my toes, mentally begging for her to “bring it on.” I was ready with my last word before I picked up the phone.

I did this when the kids were teenagers. Knowing that I was about to be lied to, I would let my zinger rip before they got to part two of their never-ending tale of deception. Failing to learn the motivation behind the lie, I was prepared with my last word before they drove in the driveway.

And I know I did this at work. My mind racing as I multitasked, I could end a meeting before everyone got settled in their chairs. Reading the sales reports in advance and completing my research, I was prepared with my closing line before my coworkers got their first cup of coffee.

Some of us feel the need to have the last word when competition is fierce, pride is king, and we’re afraid. And when people are afraid—especially afraid of being wrong or irrelevant—retorts that smart get hurled in an attempt to save face, save jobs, or save budgets.

But never will a zinger spewed bring you peace, even if you have all your facts and have them right.

I have found that while I may temporarily feel better for having responded with a quick quip, 99 percent of the time my euphoria turned to regret—about the time I was trying to fall asleep.

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. (Colossians 4:6)

For those of us who have been given the gift of oration, it is our duty to have the last word. Let’s just plan for that word to be kind.