Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Know When To Back Off

Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Know When to Back Off

LADIES, this one is for your husbands: encourage your menfolk to figure out when to back off. Steve brings some pretty special ingredients to our secret sauce that we’ll get into later, but this one needs to be mentioned now. Men need to add a little discernment to the sauce. Girlfriends, feel free to pass the book over to your partner for this one.

When I get an idea about something, I go full throttle. I am an optimistic Energizer Bunny on steroids when I decide I want to do something, whether starting a new business or spring cleaning. You can only imagine how strong-willed I can be when I get a harebrained idea that I feel needs to be implemented tomorrow.

I have this theory that applies to work and family: I believe each of us is hardwired to be either a what person or a how person. I’m a what person. A visionary. I see clearly what needs to be done and when. I love coming up with new ideas for books, events, and products. I’m an idea person.

However, I’m much less clear on the how—even though most of the time, anxious for progress, I plow ahead. Steve is the how person on our team. He knows the logical and methodical steps to help me achieve my hand-waving, pie-in-the-sky, big-idea plans. But . . . he allows me to work it out.

Okay, for the men reading this entry, this is key: you might know exactly what she needs to do and see clearly that she is likely to make a mistake if she doesn’t. However, you don’t need to lecture her or give her advice on day one. Tell her what you would do and why and then back off. When Steve tells me how he’d approach something, over a period of time I have come to the exact same conclusion—100 percent of the time. There’s never been a cross word between us, just a total meeting of the minds.

A gentle answer deflects anger,but harsh words make tempers flare. (Proverbs 15:1)

Beautiful, eh? Gentlemen, are you dispensing a little too much advice, too often? Back off.