Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Adoration, Not Desperation

Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Adoration, Not Desperation

I DON’T NEED my husband. Never have. Never will.

I make my own money. I have my own ideals. I build my own confidence. I design my own dreams. I don’t need Steve—except when it comes to running the complex stereo system in our house! I swear he keeps it difficult just so I will be a little dependent on him.

But I want him. I choose him. Steve is my everything. And he knows it. Of course, he doesn’t need me either. He wants me. He chose me. I’m his everything. And I know it. This reciprocal affection is what enables our relationship to be incredibly balanced.

In the early years of our marriage, I think Steve was a little taken aback by my independence. He wanted to feel needed until I showed him that it was so much better to be desired.

Relationships work at their peak when they are balanced, when there is a constant, consistent hum of adoration between two people. Desperation on the part of either party can be the beginning of a serious unraveling that may leave either or both of you with nothing but a small thread to hang on to; it’s hard to be the one who is needy and equally difficult to be the one needed. What makes our relationship work—and other successful partnerships I have witnessed—is balance; we don’t look for the other to fill what we lack but desire the other simply for who he or she is.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Women (or men) who look to be rescued or taken care of, or who look to their mates to fill their empty vessels, create unbalanced relationships. Let adoration define your relationship, not desperation.