Moving Through The Fog - When You’re Not In The Driver’s Seat

Moving through the Fog - When You’re Not in the Driver’s Seat

OKAY. Let’s say that you’ve dealt with your disappointment. You’ve grieved like my sisters at the Bethel Baptist Church. And you’ve moved on. What’s your role when it’s one of your best girlfriends who is stuck in the fog?

For those of us who like forward progress, it can be gut wrenching and painful to watch a friend who cannot move forward. We want to take the wheel and floor it—let’s get through this darkness! But that’s not our role.

Our role with our girlfriends is to ride shotgun. Allowing her to stop and start. Allowing her to swerve every now and then. And sometimes we have to sit quietly as she puts her forward motion in reverse. Biting our tongue. Putting aside our personal need for our “old friend” to come back to us. Our personal aggravation with the situation has to be just that. Our own problem.

I have walked beside girlfriends working through profound grief and have found my friendship, my patience, and my own self-care put at risk as I rode in the passenger seat. When my self-absorption just couldn’t take it another day, I remembered that it was not my car. I could step out for a while, stretch my legs, and then climb back in, ready to sit a little longer with her as she continued to journey on.

Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

As hard as it is, sit quietly with your grieving sister. Don’t try to take the wheel. And whatever you do, remember to get out at the rest stop; the journey might be long.