Living Intentionally - Be Confused (Part Deux)

Living Intentionally - Be Confused (Part Deux)

I’D LIKE TO SAY that I’ve never been confused about my spiritual beliefs. But that wouldn’t be true.

I accepted Christ at the innocent age of ten (back in 1969, fourth graders were still innocent) during my Wednesday evening Bible study course called Girls Auxiliary. As my leader prayed, I made a commitment to follow Christ. Having a treasured secret, I didn’t share with Mrs. McBroom or my classmates that I had just made the single most important decision of my life. Nor did I tell my parents—at least not right away.

Arriving home, I went straight to the bathroom (notice the word the—one bathroom, four people—who knows how we made that work), locked the door, and drew my bath. Singing all three stanzas of “I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart” I completed my personal praise and worship service with my baptism. I said aloud, “I baptize thee my sister Margaret Ellen Haralson in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit” (I’d seen these baptisms a time or two—so I was pretty sure I had my lines right). Rinsing the shampoo from my hair I was confident that I had been cleansed of the white rock dust from our front road and my sins.

My parents? Well, yes I’m sure they were amused when I sprang forth from the bathroom wrapped in towels, proclaiming in a loud voice “I’ve been saved.” And yes . . . they required I participate in proper baptism by our minister. But for me—it was all for show. The real one was done in the bathtub.

So you can imagine my shock when in my midtwenties a good friend of mine challenged me on my spiritual beliefs. “Where did you get these facts? How do you know this is true? Why do you believe this?” The girl with all the answers (me) was left speechless. Even with my profound conviction and personal experience, I couldn’t tell my friend the why behind my faith. I only knew that I believed what I believed because I had always been told to believe it.

As her challenge morphed into my confusion, I sought answers. I began to question everything and journeyed not just toward a confirmation of my belief system but an even deeper renewal. I realized, as I dared to question the tenets of my faith, that my confusion ultimately allowed me to live my beliefs more intentionally.

If the Son sets you free, you are truly free. (John 8:36)

Are you confused? That’s okay. Your willingness to shine a new light on your belief system might be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship with Christ. Imagine finding out that there’s more than just rules and requirements—there’s a relationship. Ahhhhh. Living intentionally—with him.