Living Intentionally - Be Confused

Living Intentionally - Be Confused

DON’T BE A flip-flopper. Make up your mind. Stick with your story.

We’re told that to be people of influence we must dig in our position and stay the course.

Hogwash.

I think to live intentionally we must be confused. Because confusion, coupled with a compass, ultimately results in personal clarity.

At the tender age of sixteen, I took marriage vows before God and man, and I took them seriously. Two years later, I began asking the questions I should have asked before the wedding. Are we really “one”? What principles and philosophies do we share that will bind us for the rest of our lives? Frightened and disappointed, I was failing miserably in the relationship. Confusion became my constant companion for nearly eight more years until, unfortunately, the marriage finally failed.

Confusion in marriage can sometimes result in separation, but it doesn’t have to. I think that a state of confusion can actually be healthy at times. Some relationships and aspects of a relationship “need” to die in order for a new stronger union to be resurrected. Confusion in marriage, when coupled with the compass of counseling and communication, can lead to renewed commitment. But first a couple has to have the courage to admit they’re confused and the ability to properly communicate the source of the confusion. And they have to have a good imagination to envision what could be.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Are you confused? Your willingness to shine a new light on your partnership might be the best thing that ever happened to your marriage. Imagine finding out that there’s more than just those two kids that bind you together. Ahhhhh. Living intentionally—together.