Letting Go Of Your Expectations Of Others

Letting Go Of Your Expectations Of Others

Meanwhile, all his disciples deserted him and ran away. –Mark 14:50

What a lonely place it must have been for Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. As he prayed, his soul crushed with grief to the point of death, he repeatedly found the ones who had pledged their lives to him sleeping instead of praying. A short time later, as a mob arrived with swords and clubs to arrest him, all of his beloved disciples ran for their lives.

They say you find out who your friends are when the chips are down. I suppose that’s true. Some I had expected to walk with us in our time of crisis seemed to disappear instead. And then there were those I had barely known before who felt called to serve us in some of our difficult days. What a gift.

I’m embarrassed to tell you that I kept very close tabs in our walk with Hope. Not an actual list, mind you, but I knew who had spoken to us and who hadn’t, who had called and who hadn’t, who reached out and who withdrew. My expectations of those around us were high, and I was often disappointed.

By the time Gabe came, I had learned that some people are called by God to minister grace in the hard places. Some people aren’t. This time around, I was free from the tyranny of expectations, free from keeping a scorecard on everyone around me and taking note of who had made an effort in our direction. What a relief! But don’t think I’m naive. I know that some people are just too self-centered to share your pain. But I’ve come to realize that so much we label as uncaring is simply an inability to overcome the awkwardness and fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. The reason some people have never said anything to you about your divorce or your job loss or the death of one you love is that they simply don’t know how to overcome the awkwardness.

Would you be willing to take another look at those around you with that perspective of grace? What a relief it is to let go of your heavy expectations of others and instead appreciate every gentle touch, every shared tear, and every knowing smile as sheer gifts of grace. What a relief to follow the example of Jesus and instead of placing blame, offer forgiveness.

Forsaken Jesus, you understand what it feels like to be deserted by those you thought would be there for you in your darkest hour. Give me your spirit of forgiveness and your spirit of grace to help me let go of my disappointment in people who’ve failed or forgotten me.

DIGGING DEEPER