Letting Go Of The Spotlight

Letting Go Of The Spotlight

Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. –Philippians 2:3-4

How we love to be in the spotlight. Can we be honest enough to admit it feels good to be the center of attention? And nothing puts you in the spotlight quite like a significant loss or a dreaded diagnosis. Those of us connected to the body of Christ experience the tangible love of Jesus through the care and concern of others. Our needs become their concerns, and our issues become the constant topic of conversation.

The problem with the spotlight suffering puts us in is that it can be as addictive as a drug. Many of us who have been through a public struggle find ourselves hooked on the attention, endlessly hungry for the sympathy and significance we’ve come to crave. We seek it in subtle ways. We look for an opportunity in the conversation to drop something others cannot ignore, drawing the focus to us and bringing out some sympathy. I was talking about this with my editor Jan, who had a bout with breast cancer a few years ago, and she knew just what I meant. She said a friend had confronted her on the issue, saying to her one day, “When are you going to quit playing the cancer card?” Youch! You got me.

Do you find yourself resentful that people no longer ask about your loss or struggle? Are you frustrated that they seem to have moved on and forgotten? Perhaps rather than pointing your finger at them, it is time you shine the spotlight on the needs of those around you rather than demanding it stay fixed on you and your needs. Don’t be afraid they’ll forget. Don’t be afraid they’ll think you’re fine when you are still hurting deeply. Just let it go, and determine to find your satisfaction in focusing on others, resisting the easy attention grab.

Perhaps this hits home with you and makes you feel uncomfortable. Are you willing to hold the mirror up to your behavior to see if it’s time to let go of the spotlight your suffering has put on you? I’ve found that it isn’t easy. It takes a conscious choice to turn conversations away from my pain, to stop trying to make sure everyone understands my hurt and has considered my feelings. But it is a step toward normalization, and a step closer to Christ.

Jesus, I must admit I love the spotlight, but I know it is not pleasing to you. You love it when I put the needs, concerns, and experiences of others before my own. Help me to let go of the spotlight and turn it on the people around me.

DIGGING DEEPER