Your Go-to Excuse

EXCUSES. WE ALL HAVE THEM. We all have a reason for our grumpy faces or for why we just aren’t ourselves some days.

I’ll go first. Lately my excuse for not having regular, reliable joy is because I feel like the whole universe is out to get me. I realize that sounds quite melodramatic. But seriously, every major deadline or project I’ve had in the past two months has been preceded by a big sickness for one of my kids. Most recently, my two girls volleyed a fever back and forth all week, dropped it for a few days, and then picked it right up again.

I always manage to convince myself that my excuses are good enough to steal my joy. I believe that they have a right to my joy more than I do. I believe that I can have joy as soon as these pesky things stop happening to me and leave me alone to my joy. This line of reasoning is completely false, but it’s something I seem to believe, judging from how I let anything run away with my joy.

What’s your excuse for not having joy? What is the most common culprit for your momma malaise?

It’s time for some tough love for all of us: whatever our excuse, it’s not good enough.

I’m not saying this because life is easy. I won’t pretend to understand the dark days for the mom who loses a child or walks through cancer with a spouse. But more often than not, at least for me, the situations that snag my joy aren’t the big things; they’re the low-level pains and frustrations. It’s almost like we want our excuses to be good enough—we are trying to prove to the world, “See, I told you! I should be allowed to be miserable, and now that I’ve told you all the details, don’t you agree?” As crazy as it sounds, we are becoming a generation of mommas who are looking for a way out of having joy. We try to outdo each other in who has motherhood the hardest.

In John 5, Jesus and the disciples arrive at a healing pool, a place where those who couldn’t walk came looking to be healed. When Jesus gets there, he asks a lame man, “Do you want to get well?”

This seems like an odd question at first. But I’ve been in a similar spot myself. Yes, but . . .

• Yes, but nobody can help me.
• Yes, but I’ve been sitting here for so long.
• Yes, but I don’t know if it will ever happen.

Do we roll our eyes at this man’s excuse when Jesus is about to offer healing? Then again, if God asked us, “Do you want joy?” would we have any “Yes, but” responses?

• Yes, but I have all these bad circumstances.
• Yes, but have you seen my kids lately?
• Yes, but nothing ever seems to work out for me the way it does for my Facebook friend Ms. Overly Peppy Poppy.

Maybe Jesus wasn’t asking if the man wanted to get well as much as he was asking if the man would choose to be healed. Just like healing for this man, joy is a choice, and we’ve been opting out for too long.

Throughout the day, we have bidders for our joy. From the low bidders, like locking our keys in the car, to high bidders, like totaling the car, we are constantly tempted to sell our joy. Let’s commit to a perspective shift. Keys locked in the car will not get me down. A chaotic trip to the grocery store will not steal my joy.

Today is our chance. Today is our choice. We get to choose to “get well.” Our joy is not for sale. And if I can take this metaphor even further? If it were for sale, it wouldn’t matter, because it has already been paid for by the highest of bidders: Jesus at the Cross. Going, going, gone.

ACTION STEP

Change the conversation with another mom today. Share what tried to steal your joy and the victory you experienced from refusing the bid. Or if something bid and you took the offer, confess that and allow it to be a moment you can both learn from. Just be careful not to let it end in an impromptu pity party!

PRAYER

Father, my joy has been up for grabs every day, and the bidders are many. Help me to hold on to my joy, knowing you paid the price to save me. Please allow me to experience the fullness of your joy. In Jesus’ name, amen.

MORNING QUESTIONS

TAKEAWAY TODAY | What is your go-to excuse for not having joy?

What reasons do you have for embracing joy today?

DREADING TODAY | Is there anything you’re dreading today?

REDEFINING TODAY | If so, what is another way you can view that thing you’re dreading?

ASKING GOD TODAY | What request are you bringing before the Lord today?

EVENING QUESTIONS

REFLECTION | Were there any moments today when something tried to steal your joy? How did you respond?

LITTLE VICTORIES | Where did you see God show up even in small ways, reminding you that you aren’t alone?

WHITE FLAG MOMENTS | When did you want to hide or escape today?

MEMORY OF THE DAY | What do you want to relish and thank God for?