When Quiet Is Scary

RAISE YOUR HAND if you’re a momma who would love a little peace and quiet. I think this is the anthem for any mom with a car full of little voices or a house full of busy teenagers.

When I was growing up, my mom always wanted my siblings and me to turn down the music and TV. Me? I loved the background sounds and couldn’t understand why she liked the quiet so much. Now that I’m a mom, though, I get it. She was weary from the constant noise. All day long, I get asked questions or hear shrieks every time a toy exchange doesn’t go as planned. The quiet is something we mommas come to crave.

As much as I long for those quiet moments, however, it can be pretty scary when they come. And that’s not because the silence means my kids are destroying some piece of furniture. That would honestly be easier to clean up. The scary part is where my thoughts go when they finally have a chance to run free.

A few nights ago I had one of these moments. I was so excited to finally have some downtime, and then it started. The fear sank in first. The dread came next. And then the guilt. Oh, the guilt.

When we have a little space to think, we sometimes have trouble taking our thoughts captive, and those blessed moments of silence can end up being draining instead of refreshing—and all the more so because we had such high hopes for how this quiet time would rejuvenate us.

God’s Word calls us to “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV). When I recognize that this challenge isn’t just something I do to feel better but something I do out of obedience to Christ, I take it more seriously.

We have to get deliberate about our thoughts. When we finally get the quiet we long for, we should be able to look forward to it and not subconsciously feel nervous about what will surface.

Life coach Brooke Castillo maps out how our thoughts work and gives us a practical way to change them. Though her approach is not necessarily biblically based, it falls in line with 2 Corinthians 10:5, emphasizing how our thoughts determine so much about our actions. This tool has helped me in my journey toward taking my thoughts captive.

• Circumstances are things that happen that you can’t control.
• Thoughts are opinions about your circumstances (this is where we have the power to change things).
• Feelings are one-word descriptions of your emotions, which are caused by thoughts, not circumstances.
• Actions are anything you do in response to that feeling.
• Results are what happen as an effect of actions.^a

Here’s an example based on my normal thought process and where it leads, and then the pattern that happens when I intentionally choose my thoughts.

• Natural thought process: free time at night after girls go to sleep→I’m a morning person, and the nights make me feel heaviness and dread→anxious→feeling restless; having trouble falling asleep→unrest.
• Changed thought process: free time at night after girls go to sleep→there is a creative energy that happens when the sun is down and the house is quiet→invigorated and expectant→reading books and writing ideas; falling asleep more peacefully without regret or guilt→refreshment.

We have to protect our thoughts and choose them intentionally. I want refreshment for you and for me. When we finally get space to think and breathe, I don’t want our thoughts to run roughshod over us and take us somewhere we don’t want to go. The stronger our muscles are for taking our thoughts captive, the more joyful every quiet moment will be—and the loud ones too.

ACTION STEP

Think of a recent circumstance that spiraled into negative thoughts, and then write the series of events based on this model. Then write out what this could look like if the negative thoughts were taken captive.

PRAYER

Father God, give me wisdom to take my unruly thoughts captive and make them obedient to you. I long to obey you in all areas of my life, but somehow I forget that this applies to my thoughts, too. I’m expectant to see how you change my thoughts and, in turn, change my life. In Jesus’ name, amen.

MORNING QUESTIONS

TAKEAWAY TODAY | When is it hardest for you to take your thoughts captive?

Why do you think God cares so much about our thoughts?

DREADING TODAY | Is there anything you’re dreading today?

REDEFINING TODAY | If so, what is another way you can view that thing you’re dreading?

ASKING GOD TODAY | What request are you bringing before the Lord today?

EVENING QUESTIONS

REFLECTION | What thoughts were you able to successfully take captive today? What thoughts spiraled out of control today?

LITTLE VICTORIES | Where did you see God show up even in small ways, reminding you that you aren’t alone?

WHITE FLAG MOMENTS | When did you want to hide or escape today?

MEMORY OF THE DAY | What do you want to relish and thank God for?