Feeling Utterly Ill-equipped

HAVE YOU EVER HAD one of those days when you start out proud that you actually remembered to get the Dora the Explorer cards from the dollar store for Valentine’s Day—that is, until your child brings home a backpack full of Pinterest-worthy treats? If so, you’re in good company. Jesus’ disciples had a day when they felt terribly ill-equipped for the task ahead of them, too.

Here’s what happened. Thousands of people had just spent the day listening to Jesus, but it was going to get dark soon and there was no food anywhere nearby. The disciples assessed the situation and told Jesus to send the people away to grab some food. As a girl who doesn’t skip a meal, I would have been grateful for a disciple who watched the clock, kept the preaching on track, and cared about the people’s appetites.

But then Jesus, in all his Jesus-ness, took the disciples far outside the box when he casually told them to give the people something to eat. In Matthew 14:16 Jesus says, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat” (NIV).

As if they had a food truck fully stocked just beyond the hill!

They answered about the way you’d imagine. “Um . . . we only have, like, two fish and five loaves of bread.” But you know how the story goes. Jesus literally turned what they did have into more than enough.

On any given day, I feel the same way. Ill-equipped. Like I have two fish and five loaves of bread, and I need to feed a small army. Like God just asked me to do something that seems impossible.

But here was the mistake of the disciples—and the mistake I make too. We picture these moments without God.

What’s crazy is that Jesus had already been performing miracles that day, healing lots of people. The disciples knew what he was capable of, but in that moment they did the math of adding two fish and five loaves and forgot to multiply it by what God could do with it.

If God is asking you to do something, he’s going to equip you. That might not mean it will be easy, but he’s going to give you what you need.

Where it gets tricky is when we stop looking to him for the how.

How is God equipping you to make it through this rough day? The answer will look different for each person—for each day, even. But he will provide.

What seems like a small lunch of fish and bread is more than enough—as long as God is involved. I would wager that the moments of equipment failure happen when we are trying to do things on our own. It’s the days I know I serve a God of impossible things that have a completely different tone.

Back to those disciples. What if they’d said, “Okay, Jesus. We’ll head out and look for food” and about-faced, heading for the nearest town to figure it out on their own? Personally, I’d be shaking my head in judgment. You have no money, and you’re trying to get food for five thousand–plus people on your own? When Jesus is right here? Disciples, come on! Then again, how often have we received a word from God and then about-faced to figure out the how on our own? Or what if the disciples had said, “Can’t be us, Jesus. We have nothing to offer”? Would they have expected Jesus to say, “Oh, I must have gotten the wrong guys. My bad”? How often do we toss our hands in the air and tell God he has the wrong girl?

Can we keep that picture with us as we think about our own lives? Maybe you only got four hours of sleep last night. It’s not much, but that plus Jesus will get you through this day. Not four hours plus an about-face to the coffee machine. Not four hours plus an about-face to your phone.

Mommas, today let’s trust that if God has asked us to do something, he’ll do it through us. We just have to be willing to ask him how.

ACTION STEP

List all the things you feel ill-equipped to handle. Then ask God how—how he is equipping you to do this today.

PRAYER

Father, I don’t have the answers. Forgive me for the times I subconsciously believe I do. It never ends well. Turn my two fish and five loaves into more than enough. I trust that you have the answers and will equip me for what you have already asked me to do. In Jesus’ name, amen.

MORNING QUESTIONS

TAKEAWAY TODAY | What are your fish and loaves—the small things you have to bring to God?

What crutches are you most tempted to rely on to get through the day instead of trusting God?

DREADING TODAY | Is there anything you’re dreading today?

REDEFINING TODAY | If so, what is another way you can view that thing you’re dreading?

ASKING GOD TODAY | What request are you bringing before the Lord today?

EVENING QUESTIONS

REFLECTION | How did God multiply your little into something big today?

LITTLE VICTORIES | Where did you see God show up even in small ways, reminding you that you aren’t alone?

WHITE FLAG MOMENTS | When did you want to hide or escape today?

MEMORY OF THE DAY | What do you want to relish and thank God for?