Slow And Steady Wins The Race

THIS IS SLOW AND STEADY WORK, this parenting thing. There’s no Pinterest post for “How to Train Up Your Child in Three Days” or “Five Simple Steps to Spiritual Maturity.” It doesn’t happen in a flash of light or during a week at summer camp. Training up a child is a daily process, and there’s no shortcut.

I think we inherently know that, but my moments of deepest frustration as a mom almost always circle back to a misbehaving child. I can handle a broken dishwasher in isolation. I can handle hot, humid days of running errands with happy kids. But if you throw a whining child into the mix, it’s all over. Momma’s gonna blow.

I know I’m not alone in this. As I’ve talked to other moms, I’ve found that our inner grumpy mom is most often drawn out when we’re dealing with misbehaving kids. It’s the last straw, the breaking point on our worst days.

You might be hoping that I’ll offer you a quick fix for our kids, but unfortunately, I can’t do that. I can, however, offer you a new mind-set—one that has helped me handle my moments of weakness with more strength and grace. There’s a verse in Proverbs that we usually apply to work and money—but then again, parenting is real work (and all the mommas said amen). So I think this truth makes sense in the context of motherhood, too. “Committed and persistent work pays off; get-rich-quick schemes are ripoffs” (Proverbs 28:20, MSG).

As I train up my girls and face everyday struggles myself, I want to cling to the truth of this verse. It helps to remember that training my kids takes committed and persistent work and that a dramatic child should be an expected part of the process, not something that sends me over the edge.

My anger in those moments speaks so much of my demand for a get-mature-quick scheme. Not only is that impossible, but it doesn’t pay off. The committed and persistent work is what pays off.

How many moments of yelling and feeling completely overwhelmed could I save myself if I approached my role as a parent with a slow and steady pace instead of setting expectations that my children were never meant to meet? What if, when my daughter loses her mind in the grocery store while my hands are full, I could remember that this is a training ground? That it’s a teachable moment for her—and for me, too? In that situation I have two choices: I can completely lose my mind and join her on the floor, or I can remember the process she’s going through and speak calmly to her without expecting perfection.

Another version puts Proverbs 28:20 this way: “A faithful person will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished” (NIV). I don’t want to live overeager for my child’s maturity or idolize the end goal so much that I take my eyes off the Lord and what he’s doing right now.

As you battle the everyday frustrations of life today, your kids will no doubt have their biggest breakdowns right in the middle of difficult situations and make them even crazier. That’s why it’s important to remember, before that even happens, what this process of training is all about. Be committed and persistent, and know that training up a child doesn’t stop during the crazy moments of life.

And in those moments when you see fruit, I want you to revel in the progress. Not the fruit of a “fixed” child but the fruit of a calm response. Stay faithful to the slow and steady work, because that’s the work God will richly bless.

ACTION STEP

Make note of your slow and steady progress. Write down even the tiniest victories you’ve experienced lately. Did you speak calmly to your little one who refused to share a toy? Did you avoid harsh or sarcastic words when your teenager didn’t clean his or her room the first time you asked?

PRAYER

Father, forgive me for believing there’s a rule that demands that my kids show their emotions only if everything else is calm. Give me realistic expectations of them so I don’t explode when they melt down in the middle of an already-existing crisis. Give me patience and grace and steadiness to stay committed and persistent. Please bless this slow work! In Jesus’ name, amen.

MORNING QUESTIONS

TAKEAWAY TODAY | When do you find that your inner grumpy mom is most likely to come out?

In what ways have you seen God at work through the slow and steady process of transformation?

DREADING TODAY | Is there anything you’re dreading today?

REDEFINING TODAY | If so, what is another way you can view that thing you’re dreading?

ASKING GOD TODAY | What request are you bringing before the Lord today?

EVENING QUESTIONS

REFLECTION | Were there any situations where you were able to choose persistence today? What happened?

LITTLE VICTORIES | Where did you see God show up even in small ways, reminding you that you aren’t alone?

WHITE FLAG MOMENTS | When did you want to hide or escape today?

MEMORY OF THE DAY | What do you want to relish and thank God for?