Question 1

How can I learn to become vulnerable with others in a healthy way?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 31:9-16Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress. . . . I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Sin has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within. I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors—even my friends are afraid to come near me. When they see me on the street, they run the other way. I am ignored as if I were dead, as if I were a broken pot. I have heard the many rumors about me, and I am surrounded by terror. My enemies conspire against me, plotting to take my life. But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfailing love, rescue me.Psalm 19:12-14How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.We can start by being vulnerable and deliberately transparent with God when we pray. There’s a difference between knowing that God knows us inside-out and speaking with God about our deepest needs and questions.1 John 1:9If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.We can be safely vulnerable with God about our sins and failures, for he is absolutely trustworthy and he will offer unconditional forgiveness.Luke 6:27-36“I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. . . .”As we understand more and more of God’s great love for us, despite our mistakes, we will want to pass on that same love to others. Loving others always makes us vulnerable, but it is the best way for us to live.2 Corinthians 1:3-7All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.A great privilege of believers is to share the vulnerability of offering comfort and understanding to one another. If you see vulnerability as a negative thing, you will always have trouble sharing with others. If you see it as the way to deeper and healthier relationships, you will learn to develop it.James 5:16Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.The church is to be a place where vulnerability is a great builder of fellowship. Mutual confession of sins is not the source of forgiveness (which comes from God), but it does provide an effective assurance of forgiveness.Matthew 4:1-11Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry. During that time the devil came . . .We must find strength in fellowship with God, for Satan usually attacks when we are most vulnerable.

Question 2

Are there ways in which I should allow myself to be vulnerable?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 2:25Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.1 John 4:11-19Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.For those who are married, the next most vulnerable relationship (next to our relationship with God) should be with our spouse. There should be nothing hidden between two people who are married. The description of Adam and Eve’s original intimacy takes us back before the Fall, but their trust and vulnerability toward each other was complicated by their sin. Sin separates us from God and the people closest to us; it leads us to fear and distrust others. But John informs us that God’s Spirit and love move us away from fear (of judgment and rejection) toward transparency and responding with unselfish love.Psalm 139:23-24Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.2 Timothy 3:16All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.Hebrews 4:12-13The word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.It is essential to open our hearts and lives fully to God and let him do his work in us to help us become all he created us to be. This includes being confronted, reproved, and corrected by God through his Word. If we pull away from God and don’t allow him to help us, we will never reach our God-given potential.Matthew 5:11-12“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.”Hebrews 10:33Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things.We are to allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to experience humiliation and ridicule for believing in Jesus.2 Corinthians 11:27I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.We must make ourselves vulnerable enough to be willing to accept difficulty and danger in order to serve God.

Question 3

How can I help people who are dangerously vulnerable?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 9:22-23Ham, the father of Canaan, saw that his father was naked and went outside and told his brothers. Then Shem and Japheth took a robe, held it over their shoulders, and backed into the tent to cover their father. As they did this, they looked the other way so they would not see him naked.Proverbs 23:10Don’t cheat your neighbor by moving the ancient boundary markers; don’t take the land of defenseless orphans.Those who are vulnerable are easy to take advantage of. We are to do what we can to “cover” those who are vulnerable, to protect them from being exploited.Isaiah 58:7Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.Job 6:14-16“One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty. My brothers, you have proved as unreliable as a seasonal brook that overflows its banks in the spring when it is swollen with ice and melting snow.”We should help those who are vulnerable, restoring them to a stronger position. We do this by treating them with mercy, compassion, and kindness, and providing them with whatever resources we can.Psalm 82:4Rescue the poor and helpless; deliver them from the grasp of evil people.Proverbs 31:9Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.God wants us to rescue the vulnerable so others cannot take advantage of them.2 Timothy 3:6-9They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.) These teachers oppose the truth just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses. They have depraved minds and a counterfeit faith. But they won’t get away with this for long. Someday everyone will recognize what fools they are, just as with Jannes and Jambres.Leaders are especially responsible to protect those who are vulnerable. As people with power and influence, leaders are in a special position to instruct, protect, and encourage those who are defenseless.

Question 4

How do I keep myself from being vulnerable to harm?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 28:48“You will serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you. You will be left hungry, thirsty, naked, and lacking in everything. The Lord will put an iron yoke on your neck, oppressing you harshly until he has destroyed you.”Numbers 14:41-45Moses said, “Why are you now disobeying the Lord’s orders to return to the wilderness? It won’t work. Do not go up into the land now. You will only be crushed by your enemies because the Lord is not with you. When you face the Amalekites and Canaanites in battle, you will be slaughtered. The Lord will abandon you because you have abandoned the Lord.” But the people defiantly pushed ahead toward the hill country, even though neither Moses nor the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant left the camp. Then the Amalekites and the Canaanites who lived in those hills came down and attacked them and chased them back as far as Hormah.Lamentations 1:8Jerusalem has sinned greatly, so she has been tossed away like a filthy rag. All who once honored her now despise her, for they have seen her stripped naked and humiliated. All she can do is groan and hide her face.Nahum 3:5“I am your enemy!” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “And now I will lift your skirts and show all the earth your nakedness and shame.”We are to keep ourselves from being vulnerable to harm by obeying God and staying within his plan and revealed will. Shame and humiliation are consequences of disobedience to God. When these don’t occur immediately, it’s not a sign of God’s inattentiveness but a sign of his mercy, since we all fall short.Ezra 8:21-23There by the Ahava Canal, I gave orders for all of us to fast and humble ourselves before our God. We prayed that he would give us a safe journey and protect us, our children, and our goods as we traveled. For I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to accompany us and protect us from enemies along the way. After all, we had told the king, “Our God’s hand of protection is on all who worship him, but his fierce anger rages against those who abandon him.” So we fasted and earnestly prayed that our God would take care of us, and he heard our prayer.Prayer helps to build and strengthen a wall of spiritual protection around us.1 Kings 11:1-3Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.1 Corinthians 10:6-13These things happened as a warning to us, so that we would not crave evil things as they did, or worship idols as some of them did. As the Scriptures say, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.” And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day. Nor should we put Christ to the test, as some of them did and then died from snakebites. And don’t grumble as some of them did, and then were destroyed by the angel of death. These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age. If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.Remember that Satan will tempt us where we are most vulnerable to sin. This is particularly true if we are attempting to live on our own or think we are beyond the reach of the evil one.Nehemiah 4:13So I placed armed guards behind the lowest parts of the wall in the exposed areas. I stationed the people to stand guard by families, armed with swords, spears, and bows.We should keep from being vulnerable by joining together with others and standing together against danger.Revelation 16:15“Look, I will come as unexpectedly as a thief! Blessed are all who are watching for me, who keep their clothing ready so they will not have to walk around naked and ashamed.”If we are fully prepared for Christ’s return, we will not be vulnerable to judgment when he comes.

Question 5

Is God vulnerable in any way?

Accepted Answer

Isaiah 53:12I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.2 Corinthians 5:16-21So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.God, in the person of Jesus Christ, made himself vulnerable to abuse and death at the hands of evil people.Matthew 4:1Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil.Hebrews 4:14-16So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.Jesus made himself vulnerable to temptation, but he resisted. He was in every way an example to us of godly living.

Question 6

Should leaders be vulnerable and open with those they lead?

Accepted Answer

2 Chronicles 20:12[Jehoshaphat said] “O our God, won’t you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help.”Psalm 51:12-14Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.Matthew 26:36-39Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, . . . He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”2 Corinthians 1:8We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah, could not hide the fact from his people that he was overwhelmed by the attack coming against the kingdom of Judah. David’s sin of adultery with Bathsheba and his virtual murder of Uriah were made public in a psalm for worship. Jesus’ agony in Gethsemane was openly shared with his disciples. And Paul did not hide his despair. The stereotype of the leader is a person who has it all together. The reality is that the leader is a person seeking to be faithful to God in a fallen world. They will often feel great anguish, and there are times when it is appropriate to share those feelings with their people.

Question 7

How do I know I can be transparent with God?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 62:8O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.Start by being transparent with God in prayer. Being transparent with God deepens our relationship with him and builds trust for continued honesty in the future.Psalm 139:1O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.God already knows your heart. There is nothing you could say to him that would surprise or shock him.Psalm 51:6But you desire honesty from the womb, teaching me wisdom even there.God created you for a deep and meaningful relationship – not just surface-level connection.1 John 1:9But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.Matthew 27:46At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”Even Jesus was transparent with God in his suffering.Psalm 42:5-8Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you—even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar. I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me. But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.If you feel sad – talk to God about it. If you are angry – talk to God about it. If you feel happy – talk to God about it! God can handle your emotions. They don’t overwhelm him or scare him away. Being honest in prayer is the foundation to developing a healthy relationship with God as our heavenly father.

Vulnerability