Question 1

What makes someone feel unwanted?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 6:12“But Lord!” Moses objected. “My own people won’t listen to me anymore. How can I expect Pharaoh to listen? I’m such a clumsy speaker!”2 Chronicles 10:8Rehoboam rejected the advice of the older men and instead asked the opinion of the young men who had grown up with him and were now his advisers.Acts 7:39“But our ancestors refused to listen to Moses. They rejected him and wanted to return to Egypt.”Hebrews 12:17You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears.We feel unwanted when we have been rejected.Malachi 2:14-15You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.We feel unwanted when we have been treated with unfaithfulness.Genesis 16:6Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.Genesis 21:10, 14So she [Sarah] turned to Abraham and demanded, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son. He is not going to share the inheritance with my son, Isaac. I won’t have it!” . . . So Abraham got up early the next morning, prepared food and a container of water, and strapped them on Hagar’s shoulders. Then he sent her away with their son, and she wandered aimlessly in the wilderness of Beersheba.We feel unwanted when we have received harsh or unfair treatment.Genesis 29:30So Jacob slept with Rachel, too, and he loved her much more than Leah. He then stayed and worked for Laban the additional seven years.We feel unwanted when we have been compared unfavorably to someone else.Psalm 31:11-12I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors—even my friends are afraid to come near me. When they see me on the street, they run the other way. I am ignored as if I were dead, as if I were a broken pot.Psalm 69:19-21You know of my shame, scorn, and disgrace. You see all that my enemies are doing. Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me. But instead, they give me poison for food; they offer me sour wine for my thirst.Psalm 142:4I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.Jeremiah 18:18Then the people said, “Come on, let’s plot a way to stop Jeremiah. We have plenty of priests and wise men and prophets. We don’t need him to teach the word and give us advice and prophecies. Let’s spread rumors about him and ignore what he says.”Ezekiel 16:5“No one had the slightest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you. On the day you were born, you were unwanted, dumped in a field and left to die.”Matthew 25:43“‘I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’”We feel unwanted when we are neglected, rejected, or unjustly attacked, and our needs are ignored.1 Samuel 8:5“Look,” they told him, “you are now old, and your sons are not like you. Give us a king to judge us like all the other nations have.”Psalm 71:9-12, 18Now, in my old age, don’t set me aside. Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing. For my enemies are whispering against me. They are plotting together to kill me. They say, “God has abandoned him. Let’s go and get him, for no one will help him now.” O God, don’t stay away. My God, please hurry to help me. . . . Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.We often feel unwanted as we become less useful to others as we age.Genesis 15:13Then the Lord said to Abram, “You can be sure that your descendants will be strangers in a foreign land, where they will be oppressed as slaves for 400 years.”Exodus 2:22Later she gave birth to a son, and Moses named him Gershom, for he explained, “I have been a foreigner in a foreign land.”Exodus 18:3Moses’ first son was named Gershom, for Moses had said when the boy was born, “I have been a foreigner in a foreign land.”Leviticus 19:33-34“Do not take advantage of foreigners who live among you in your land. Treat them like native-born Israelites, and love them as you love yourself. Remember that you were once foreigners living in the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”Ruth 2:11“Yes, I know,” Boaz replied. “But I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers.”1 Chronicles 29:15“We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.”Job 19:15“My servants and maids consider me a stranger. I am like a foreigner to them.”Psalm 69:8Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me; they treat me like a stranger.We often feel unwanted when we are new to a place, foreigners or strangers.

Question 2

How are we to respond to feelings of being unwanted?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 9:9-10The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.1 Peter 5:7Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.When we feel unwanted, we should turn to God for his presence and help, trusting in who he is.2 Corinthians 4:8-9We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.1 Peter 4:19So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.When we feel unwanted, we should continue to do what is right.Romans 12:2Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.2 Corinthians 4:8-9We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.1 Peter 2:11Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls.When we feel unwanted, we must not give in to the pressures to conform to the world.Romans 12:5We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.Hebrews 10:25Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.When we feel unwanted, we should receive and offer encouragement among other believers.1 Samuel 8:7“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.”Matthew 10:14“If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave.”Mark 6:11“If any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.”Luke 6:22“What blessings await you when people hate you and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil because you follow the Son of Man.”Luke 9:5“If a town refuses to welcome you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.”Luke 10:10-11“If a town refuses to welcome you, go out into its streets and say, ‘We wipe even the dust of your town from our feet to show that we have abandoned you to your fate. And know this—the Kingdom of God is near!’”John 15:19“The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.”Sometimes our feelings of being unwanted are a reflection of others’ rejection of God.

Question 3

How does God respond to the unwanted?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 27:10Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.Psalm 66:20Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.Ezekiel 16:6-8“But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’ And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.”God loves the unwanted.Genesis 16:7The angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur.God pursues the unwanted.Isaiah 56:8“For the Sovereign Lord, who brings back the outcasts of Israel, says: I will bring others, too, besides my people Israel.”Ephesians 2:12, 15In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope. . . . He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups.God accepts the unwanted.Genesis 29:31, 33When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive. . . . She soon became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She named him Simeon, for she said, “The Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me another son.”Psalm 72:13He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and he will rescue them.God has compassion on the unwanted.Job 34:28“They [wicked people] cause the poor to cry out, catching God’s attention. He hears the cries of the needy.”Psalm 22:24For he [the Lord] has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help.Psalm 34:6In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.Psalm 69:32The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.Psalm 86:1Bend down, O Lord, and hear my prayer; answer me, for I need your help.Isaiah 41:17“When the poor and needy search for water and there is none, and their tongues are parched from thirst, then I, the Lord, will answer them. I, the God of Israel, will never abandon them.”God hears the cries of the unwanted and needy.Deuteronomy 10:17-18“For the Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, the mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing.”Psalm 147:3He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.God ministers to the unwanted.Psalm 109:30-31I will give repeated thanks to the Lord, praising him to everyone. For he stands beside the needy, ready to save them from those who condemn them.Psalm 140:12I know the Lord will help those they persecute; he will give justice to the poor.God intervenes on the behalf of the unwanted.Exodus 23:10-11“Plant and harvest your crops for six years, but let the land be renewed and lie uncultivated during the seventh year. Then let the poor among you harvest whatever grows on its own. Leave the rest for wild animals to eat. The same applies to your vineyards and olive groves.”Deuteronomy 14:28-29“At the end of every third year, bring the entire tithe of that year’s harvest and store it in the nearest town. Give it to the Levites, who will receive no allotment of land among you, as well as to the foreigners living among you, the orphans, and the widows in your towns, so they can eat and be satisfied. Then the Lord your God will bless you in all your work.”Deuteronomy 26:12-13“Every third year you must offer a special tithe of your crops. In this year of the special tithe you must give your tithes to the Levites, foreigners, orphans, and widows, so that they will have enough to eat in your towns. Then you must declare in the presence of the Lord your God, ‘I have taken the sacred gift from my house and have given it to the Levites, foreigners, orphans, and widows, just as you commanded me. I have not violated or forgotten any of your commands.’”God provides for the unwanted.Deuteronomy 31:6“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”Isaiah 41:10“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”God strengthens, helps, supports, and leads the unwanted.Psalm 12:5The Lord replies, “I have seen violence done to the helpless, and I have heard the groans of the poor. Now I will rise up to rescue them, as they have longed for me to do.”Psalm 146:9The Lord protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and widows, but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.Isaiah 25:4You are a tower of refuge to the poor, O Lord, a tower of refuge to the needy in distress. You are a refuge from the storm and a shelter from the heat. For the oppressive acts of ruthless people are like a storm beating against a wall.Jeremiah 49:11“I will protect the orphans who remain among you. Your widows, too, can depend on me for help.”God protects the unwanted.Psalm 10:14, 17-18You see the trouble and grief they cause. You take note of it and punish them. The helpless put their trust in you. You defend the orphans. . . . Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so mere people can no longer terrify them.Psalm 68:5-6Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.God defends and vindicates the unwanted.Jeremiah 22:3“‘This is what the Lord says: Be fair-minded and just. Do what is right! Help those who have been robbed; rescue them from their oppressors. Quit your evil deeds! Do not mistreat foreigners, orphans, and widows. Stop murdering the innocent!’”Zechariah 7:10“Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other.”God forbids the oppression of the unwanted. Furthermore, he commands us to be fair-minded, to be just, and to do what is right toward the unwanted.Exodus 22:22-24“You must not exploit a widow or an orphan. If you exploit them in any way and they cry out to me, then I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will blaze against you, and I will kill you with the sword. Then your wives will be widows and your children fatherless.”Deuteronomy 27:19“‘Cursed is anyone who denies justice to foreigners, orphans, or widows.’ And all the people will reply, ‘Amen.’”Jeremiah 5:27-29“Like a cage filled with birds, their homes are filled with evil plots. And now they are great and rich. They are fat and sleek, and there is no limit to their wicked deeds. They refuse to provide justice to orphans and deny the rights of the poor. Should I not punish them for this?” says the Lord. “Should I not avenge myself against such a nation?”Ezekiel 22:7-13“Fathers and mothers are treated with contempt. Foreigners are forced to pay for protection. Orphans and widows are wronged and oppressed among you. You despise my holy things and violate my Sabbath days of rest. People accuse others falsely and send them to their death. You are filled with idol worshipers and people who do obscene things. Men sleep with their fathers’ wives and force themselves on women who are menstruating. Within your walls live men who commit adultery with their neighbors’ wives, who defile their daughters-in-law, or who rape their own sisters. There are hired murderers, loan racketeers, and extortioners everywhere. They never even think of me and my commands, says the Sovereign Lord. But now I clap my hands in indignation over your dishonest gain and bloodshed.”God promises judgment against those who oppress the unwanted.Isaiah 53:3He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.Luke 2:34Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby’s mother, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, and many others to rise. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him.”Luke 9:22“The Son of Man must suffer many terrible things,” he [Jesus] said. “He will be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He will be killed, but on the third day he will be raised from the dead.”Luke 17:25“But first the Son of Man must suffer terribly and be rejected by this generation.”God empathizes with the unwanted with first-hand knowledge.

Question 4

How do I know God wants me?

Accepted Answer

John 15:9“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love.”Romans 8:38-39I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.God loves me; his love is unchanging and revealed in Jesus.Psalm 139:13-16You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.God created me.Colossians 3:12Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.1 Thessalonians 1:4We know, dear brothers and sisters, that God loves you and has chosen you to be his own people.1 Peter 1:2, 15God the Father knew you and chose you long ago, and his Spirit has made you holy. As a result, you have obeyed him and have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. May God give you more and more grace and peace. . . . But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy.1 Peter 2:9You are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.God chose me.Matthew 10:29-31“What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”Matthew 12:11-12He [Jesus] answered, “If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn’t you work to pull it out? Of course you would. And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath.”Mark 8:35-37“If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?”1 Corinthians 6:20God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.1 Corinthians 7:23God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.God considers me to be extremely valuable.Psalm 139:17How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!God is thinking of me.Matthew 6:26-30“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?”God cares about me and my needs.Psalm 23:5You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.Psalm 71:3Be my rock of safety where I can always hide. Give the order to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.Hebrews 10:22Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.Ephesians 3:12Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.God is accessible to me.Job 34:19“He [God] doesn’t care how great a person may be, and he pays no more attention to the rich than to the poor. He made them all.”Romans 2:10-11There will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism.God is not prejudiced or partial.John 6:37“However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.”God will not reject me.Psalm 16:8I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.Matthew 28:20“Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”God is with me.

Unwanted