How can I help others who are struggling with trauma?

Job 10:1“I [Job] am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. My bitter soul must complain.”

Psalm 69:20Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.

Proverbs 25:20Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.

Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

Pretending that someone’s trauma never happened and does not affect their life is like rubbing salt in a wound. It is difficult to be with someone who is struggling with trauma, but we don’t need to come up with the right words to make it all go away. We cannot. Acknowledging that their pain is real and being present with them is often the best way we can help. It’s certainly the best place to start.

Job 30:16“And now my life seeps away. Depression haunts my days.”

Proverbs 15:13A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 17:22A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Be aware of the toll that being brokenhearted takes on a person’s spirit, mind, and body. Awareness leads to sympathy; sympathy leads to comforting the wounded; and that comfort can then lead to healing.

2 Corinthians 1:4He [God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Everyone’s trauma is unique—the same event may provoke wildly different reactions in different people. Your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors might be completely different from someone else’s, and what helped you heal from an experience is not guaranteed to work for others. Still, your own griefs and pains can provide a starting point for empathy. As you come alongside others, consider what brought you comfort. Was it people spending time with you? Was it a thoughtful card or a home-cooked meal? The methods we use to comfort others may vary, but the truth of God’s love can be expressed in a variety of ways.

Job 16:2“I [Job] have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are!”

Job 21:34“How can your empty clichés comfort me? All your explanations are lies!”

We must be careful with the words we use to those who are experiencing trauma. Explanations, suggestions, and clichés are rarely comforting.

Job 2:13Then they [Job’s friends] sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Ecclesiastes 4:12A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Love and sympathy and the power of your presence are urgently needed. Sometimes the best comfort you can give is to be quietly present.