What does the Bible say about sex outside of marriage?

1 Corinthians 7:1-9Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

Hebrews 13:4Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

As Scripture describes the role of sexuality in marriage, it is clear that the full expression of our physical desires—sexual intercourse—is to be reserved for the commitment of marriage.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

Sexual sin tears away at trust and splinters relationships. The world’s attitude says, “If it feels good, do it,” but God calls us to exercise control over our passions and our bodies. If we don’t exercise self-control before marriage, we set a poor precedent for a faithful marriage.

Genesis 39:7-9Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. “Come and sleep with me,” she demanded. But Joseph refused. “Look,” he told her, “my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. No one here has more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

Joseph drew his boundaries clearly and early, knowing that sex outside of marriage is “a great sin against God.” When temptation came, he was prepared and he knew how to handle it. The Bible sets boundaries—not to take something from us, but to protect us and help us have the greatest joy and fulfillment in a relationship. Unplanned pregnancy, disease, guilt, shame, and secrets from a future spouse are a few of the consequences of premarital sex. God’s command to reserve sex for marriage isn’t arbitrary—it’s an expression of his love for us.

Genesis 29:20-21So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days. Finally, the time came for him to marry her. “I have fulfilled my agreement,” Jacob said to Laban. “Now give me my wife so I can sleep with her.”

Malachi 2:15Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.

Jacob was engaged with Rachel. He loved her deeply. But he had to wait seven years to marry her and have sex with her. Many people believe that if they are dating someone or engaged with someone or living with someone, then they are “married in God’s eyes” so they may as well have sex. Often, such relationships do not lead to marriage, but the lack of sexual self-restraint lives on. If we want to be prepared for a marriage covenant, a practice of sexual purity in all circumstances helps us to build a habit of self-control and faithfulness. After all, sexual temptation doesn’t end after marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:15, 19-20Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! . . . Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

There are many benefits to sexual purity, but they shouldn’t be our primary motivators. Sexual purity doesn’t guarantee a perfect marriage—or marriage at all, for that matter. Sexual purity doesn’t guarantee a great sex life after marriage, either. But sexual purity honors Christ and shows respect to other human beings. Whether we receive all those benefits or not, we should still pursue sexual purity out of our love for Christ.