Question 1

What causes feelings of resentment?

Accepted Answer

2 Samuel 6:16As the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him.When we question the nature or motives of someone else’s behavior, we can begin to feel resentment toward that person.Genesis 27:36Esau exclaimed, “No wonder his name is Jacob, for now he has cheated me twice. First he took my rights as the firstborn, and now he has stolen my blessing. Oh, haven’t you saved even one blessing for me?”When we are directly deceived by someone, we tend to resent the person who deceived us.Genesis 4:3-5, 8When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected. . . . One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.Jealousy or envy toward another person can cause us to resent him or her for having what we do not.Luke 15:27-30“‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’ The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’”Feeling left out or overlooked can cause us to resent the person who overlooks us or who rewards someone else whom we know doesn’t deserve it.Genesis 37:2-4When Joseph was seventeen years old, he often tended his father’s flocks. . . . Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.Real or perceived favoritism can cause resentment in those who feel less-favored.

Question 2

What are the dangers of resentment?

Accepted Answer

Job 5:2“Surely resentment destroys the fool, and jealousy kills the simple.”Proverbs 27:3A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier.1 John 3:15Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.1 John 4:20-21If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.Resentment is destructive for both the resentful person and the person who is resented. Resentment destroys relationships and strips us of joy.

Question 3

How should I handle my feelings of resentment?

Accepted Answer

Titus 3:4-5When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.1 John 1:9If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.When we feel resentful, we should confess those feelings to God and ask for his help in replacing them with love and kindness. God can and will change us.Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses. Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love covers all offenses.Mark 11:25“When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. . . .Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.1 Thessalonians 5:15See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.James 5:9Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look—the Judge is standing at the door!Only love and forgiveness are strong enough to overcome feelings of resentment. When feeling resentful, we should pray for God’s strength to love and forgive until he removes the resentment from our hearts. Overcoming resentment in our communities can demonstrate to the world that God’s power can make a difference.Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.We should ask God to replace any feelings of resentment and jealousy over the success of others with genuine happiness for them.

Question 4

How can I avoid feelings of resentment in the future?

Accepted Answer

Colossians 2:7Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.1 Thessalonians 5:1Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.We can avoid being resentful of others by developing an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude for all that God has given us.Leviticus 19:17-18“Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”Matthew 5:43-47“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.”Colossians 3:8-10Now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.We can avoid being resentful by nurturing love rather than hatred in our hearts.Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.We can avoid being resentful in the future by being quick to forgive others.