How should I deal with others who offend me?
Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.
Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
Luke 6:27-29“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.”
Colossians 3:12-14Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
1 Peter 3:8-9Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.
Jesus’ teaching went beyond the idea of payment in kind. The offended party should forgive the offender, regardless of whether or not they ever receive restitution. Prayer, motivated by love, should move us to acts of kindness toward those who offend us.
Proverbs 12:16A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.
Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
1 Peter 2:23He [Jesus] did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.
Sometimes, the best response to offenses is to ignore them. At other times we must respond. When we do respond, we should do so in a deliberate, controlled manner that demonstrates truth and love. All our responses should be bathed in prayer. Following Jesus’ example, our response should be without defense or revenge, trusting God to be the fair judge.
Matthew 18:15“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”
At times we must confront those who have offended us. But in such instances, our goal should not be vindication but, rather, the healing and restoration of our relationships.
1 Corinthians 13:5It [Love] does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
Instead of being easily offended, we may need to become less sensitive to the offenses of others and more attuned to understanding where they have come from. Those who act in offensive ways often suffered abuse themselves in the past.
