Question 1

What offends God?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 74:18, 22-23See how these enemies insult you, Lord. A foolish nation has dishonored your name. . . . Arise, O God, and defend your cause. Remember how these fools insult you all day long. Don’t overlook what your enemies have said or their growing uproar.Proverbs 30:9If I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.Isaiah 3:8Jerusalem will stumble, and Judah will fall, because they speak out against the Lord and refuse to obey him. They provoke him to his face.Isaiah 37:22-29The Lord has spoken this word against him: “. . . Whom have you been defying and ridiculing? Against whom did you raise your voice? At whom did you look with such haughty eyes? It was the Holy One of Israel! . . . But I know you well—where you stay and when you come and go. I know the way you have raged against me. And because of your raging against me and your arrogance, which I have heard for myself, I will put my hook in your nose and my bit in your mouth. I will make you return by the same road on which you came.”Hebrews 10:29Just think how much worse the punishment will be for those who have trampled on the Son of God, and have treated the blood of the covenant, which made us holy, as if it were common and unholy, and have insulted and disdained the Holy Spirit who brings God’s mercy to us.Romans 1:18God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.Sin breaks God’s laws and is offensive to him because it is an act of rebellion against him.Proverbs 14:31Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but helping the poor honors him.Proverbs 17:5Those who mock the poor insult their Maker; those who rejoice at the misfortune of others will be punished.The way we treat others can be an insult to God, for he created us to love others.

Question 2

How should I deal with others who offend me?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”Luke 6:27-29“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.”Colossians 3:12-14Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.1 Peter 3:8-9Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.Jesus’ teaching went beyond the idea of payment in kind. The offended party should forgive the offender, regardless of whether or not they ever receive restitution. Prayer, motivated by love, should move us to acts of kindness toward those who offend us.Proverbs 12:16A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.1 Peter 2:23He [Jesus] did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.Sometimes, the best response to offenses is to ignore them. At other times we must respond. When we do respond, we should do so in a deliberate, controlled manner that demonstrates truth and love. All our responses should be bathed in prayer. Following Jesus’ example, our response should be without defense or revenge, trusting God to be the fair judge.Matthew 18:15“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”At times we must confront those who have offended us. But in such instances, our goal should not be vindication but, rather, the healing and restoration of our relationships.1 Corinthians 13:5It [Love] does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.Instead of being easily offended, we may need to become less sensitive to the offenses of others and more attuned to understanding where they have come from. Those who act in offensive ways often suffered abuse themselves in the past.

Question 3

How should I deal with those I have offended?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 18:19An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.Ephesians 4:26-27And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.Although making amends for an offense may be difficult, our relationships with others and with God are worth our immediate and diligent efforts. “I’m sorry” is one of the most important statements we can make.1 Samuel 25:24, 27-28She [Abigail] fell at his [David’s] feet and said, “I accept all blame in this matter, my lord. Please listen to what I have to say. . . . And here is a present that I, your servant, have brought to you and your young men. Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way. The Lord will surely reward you with a lasting dynasty, for you are fighting the Lord’s battles. And you have not done wrong throughout your entire life.”Luke 15:18“`I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you,”’”While our sins must always be confessed before God as an offense against him, those sins most often have also offended others. We should offer an apology and restitution to those affected by what we have done. Our apologies may not remove all our offenses and their consequences, but they can remove some of the pain our wrongs have brought and be a step toward restoring our relationships.

Question 4

How can I keep from offending others?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 69:6Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me [David], O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies. Don’t let me cause them to be humiliated.Romans 14:13So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.Galatians 5:22-24The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.1 John 2:10Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.Loving other people with Christ’s love and allowing the Holy Spirit to control our lives will help keep us from offending others in ways that cause them to stumble.Romans 14:15, 19-23If another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. . . . So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. . . . .if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.Romans 15:1-2We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.1 Corinthians 8:4-13So, what about eating meat that has been offered to idols? Well, we all know that an idol is not really a god and that there is only one God. There may be so-called gods both in heaven and on earth, and some people actually worship many gods and many lords. But for us, There is one God, the Father, by whom all things were created, and for whom we live. And there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things were created, and through whom we live. However, not all believers know this. Some are accustomed to thinking of idols as being real, so when they eat food that has been offered to idols, they think of it as the worship of real gods, and their weak consciences are violated. It’s true that we can’t win God’s approval by what we eat. We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do. But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. For if others see you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer for whom Christ died will be destroyed. And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.1 Corinthians 10:25-33So you may eat any meat that is sold in the marketplace without raising questions of conscience. For “the earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.” If someone who isn’t a believer asks you home for dinner, accept the invitation if you want to. Eat whatever is offered to you without raising questions of conscience. (But suppose someone tells you, “This meat was offered to an idol.” Don’t eat it, out of consideration for the conscience of the one who told you. It might not be a matter of conscience for you, but it is for the other person.) For why should my freedom be limited by what someone else thinks? If I can thank God for the food and enjoy it, why should I be condemned for eating it? So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.2 Corinthians 6:3We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry.To keep from offending others, we should be careful how we live. This may require compromising our personal preferences but never our Christian convictions.Romans 14:1Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.To keep from offending others, we should avoid arguing about inconsequential issues. Before we try to persuade someone else about a personal conviction, we should make sure it is clearly spelled out in God’s word.Proverbs 12:6, 18The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush, but the words of the godly save lives. . . . Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.Proverbs 15:4Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.Proverbs 18:4, 21Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook. . . . The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.James 3:2-10Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!1 Peter 3:10The Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”To keep from offending others, we should guard our mouths by carefully watching our words, always thinking before speaking.

Offend/Offense