What does the Bible say about selecting a marriage partner?

1 Kings 11:2-4The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord. In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the Lord his God, as his father, David, had been.

Judges 14:3His [Samson’s] father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?” But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.”

2 Corinthians 6:14Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?

God intends marriage to be a loving, trusting, intimate partnership that lasts for life. When someone is a partner for life, that person needs to share the spouse’s commitment to God so that together they can serve him wholeheartedly. Otherwise, the person will spend too much time negotiating with his or her spouse how faith should affect their lives, when they both should be just living it out freely. In time, an unbelieving spouse may even tempt the believing spouse away from faith.

Amos 3:3Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

Matthew 7:18, 20-21“A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit.” . . . Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.”

The person we marry will alter the path of our lives. Will that path bring us closer to God or further away? Not everyone who claims to be a Christian lives in pursuit of Christ. Jesus tells us to be discerning and watch what people do, not merely what they say, to determine their character. But even if someone is a devoted follower of Jesus, God may be calling them on a very different path from ours. Perhaps our significant other feels called overseas and we feel called to help plant a church in the neighborhood. Perhaps we desire many children but our significant other wants to focus on a career. Many such conflicts can be solved through compromise or sacrifice—things married couples must do often. Sometimes, though, we may have such foundational disagreements that marriage may not be the best choice. We should pray for wisdom and discernment in the choice of spouse, and trust God to lead us where he wants us to go.