How should I deal with loss in my life?

Matthew 14:12-13Later, John’s disciples came for his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus what had happened. As soon as Jesus heard the news, he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone.

John 11:35Then Jesus wept.

We should never deny our loss. Even if we know we will see someone again someday, separation is painful. The tears of Jesus at Lazarus’s death forever validate our tears of grief.

Genesis 50:1-13Joseph threw himself on his father and wept over him and kissed him. . . . And the Egyptians mourned his death for seventy days. When the period of mourning was over, Joseph approached Pharaoh’s advisers and said, “Please do me this favor and speak to Pharaoh on my behalf. Tell him that my father made me swear an oath. He said to me, ‘Listen, I am about to die. Take my body back to the land of Canaan, and bury me in the tomb I prepared for myself.’ . . . . When they arrived at the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan River, they held a very great and solemn memorial service, with a seven-day period of mourning for Joseph’s father. . . . So Jacob’s sons did as he had commanded them. They carried his body to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre.

Grief is a process that should not be denied or hurried. The rituals of wakes, visitations, funerals, and memorial services all help us move through stages of grief. If a loss does not involve death (such as a friend moving away, a damaged relationship, or the loss of a good job) we still need to allow ourselves to grieve in order to bring healing to our hurt souls.

2 Samuel 11:1-3In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. . . . However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem. Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. He sent someone to find out who she was.

For reasons not known, King David gave up the active leadership of his troops. The loss may have created a vacuum in his life that he sought to fill with an immoral relationship with Bathsheba. As we grieve our losses, we must be careful not to “medicate” our pain in ways that will only create more pain.

Job 1:20-22Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. . . . He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!” In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. . . . A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Losses always bring pain. Recognizing and expressing that pain is not wrong or sinful but, rather, a healthy human response that expresses how God created us.

Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

2 Corinthians 1:4He [God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Mourning is a deeply personal experience. Some withdraw from others during their times of mourning. While withdrawal may be needed to leave time for healing, we should never isolate ourselves from others’ love and support. Friends who mourn with us—especially those who have experienced a similar loss—are a great blessing to those who mourn.

Lamentations 3:18-25I cry out, “My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!” The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 18We want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. . . . So encourage each other with these words.

Those who know God grieve with the assurance of his love and have hope in his promises. Those who don’t know God grieve alone and without hope.

John 16:20-22“I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.”

Hebrews 10:34You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.

We should allow ourselves to grieve, but at some point grieving needs to end. By serving God and others with all the energy and enthusiasm we can muster, we will begin to find healing. As Christians, we have the comfort of knowing that one day we will be with God in heaven where all grief will be gone forever.