What can I do to help those who are childless?

Genesis 30:1When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister.

1 Samuel 1:6So Peninnah would taunt Hannah and make fun of her because the Lord had kept her from having children.

Proverbs 25:20Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.

Infertility is often a secret struggle. Every baby shower, every family picture on social media, every time the conversation moves to what the kids are doing at school—these all become painful reminders, like vinegar on a wound. Infertile couples may feel isolated or even inferior in a very private and personal way. Being aware of the pain infertile couples often go through is the first step toward helping them in that struggle.

Job 2:13They sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Job 16:2“I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are!”

Proverbs 30:15-16There are three things that are never satisfied—no, four that never say, “Enough!”: the grave, the barren womb, the thirsty desert, the blazing fire.

It is easy to fall into trying to help infertile couples by viewing infertility as a problem to be solved: “Have you tried this?” “Or what about that?” Often, an infertile couple has already agonized over their options and put a great deal of time, effort, and money into finding a solution without success. Off-the-cuff suggestions will only compound their pain. Like Job’s friends, we are often at our most helpful when we listen rather than speak. We may not be able to fix our friends’ problems, but we can help them feel cared for and supported.

Genesis 25:21Isaac pleaded with the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was unable to have children. The Lord answered Isaac’s prayer, and Rebekah became pregnant with twins.

Luke 18:1One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.

Prayer is powerful. Praying persistently for a couple struggling with infertility is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

Genesis 30:1-2She pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Then Jacob became furious with Rachel. “Am I God?” he asked. “He’s the one who has kept you from having children!”

1 Samuel 1:8“Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn’t that better than having ten sons?”

Infertility often puts a heavy strain on a marriage. That strain has the potential to either pull a couple together or drive a wedge between them. When you pray for a couple with infertility, pray for their relationship with each other as well.

Job 24:20-21“Wicked people are broken like a tree in the storm. They cheat the woman who has no son to help her. They refuse to help the needy widow.”

We can look for ways to be of practical assistance to families without children, especially as the husband and wife age. The elderly are often lonely, especially if they lack living family members.