Question 1

What does the Bible say about incest?

Accepted Answer

Leviticus 18:6“You must never have sexual relations with a close relative, for I am the Lord.”Amos 2:7“They [God’s rebellious people] trample helpless people in the dust and shove the oppressed out of the way. Both father and son sleep with the same woman, corrupting my holy name.”1 Corinthians 5:1I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother.

Question 2

Since God hates incest, why does he allow incest to happen at all?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 15:19“From the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.”Mark 7:21-22“From within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.”Romans 1:24-26So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. . . . That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires.Romans 6:12Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires.Romans 13:12-14The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.Galatians 5:19-26When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.Ephesians 4:17-24Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.Ephesians 5:3Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.1 Thessalonians 4:3-7God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.2 Peter 2:19They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you.Jude 1:4, 18-19I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. . . . They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them.God clearly warns us to stay away from all sexual immorality, but in this life he allows us to make choices to sin. Incest, like every other vile sin, is the result of evil choices by fallen human beings who are far from God. We can be certain that God is aware of all such sin, that he is angered by it, and that he will see that just punishment prevails.Ezekiel 22:10-15“Within your walls live men who commit adultery with their neighbors’ wives, who defile their daughters-in-law, or who rape their own sisters. . . . They never even think of me and my commands, says the Sovereign Lord. But now I clap my hands in indignation over your dishonest gain and bloodshed. . . . I will scatter you among the nations and purge you of your wickedness.”1 Corinthians 10:8We must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day.Ephesians 5:5-6You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him.Colossians 3:5-6So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming.Hebrews 13:4Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.Jude 1:7Don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment.Revelation 21:8“But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”Revelation 22:14-15Blessed are those who wash their robes. They will be permitted to enter through the gates of the city and eat the fruit from the tree of life. Outside the city are the dogs—the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie.God will righteously judge all who are guilty of forcing the innocent into acts of incest and all adults who willingly participate together in such sin. Without the sincere confession and cleansing of sin and restitution, they cannot expect to participate in God’s promises related to heaven.

Question 3

As a victim of incest, how can I ever hope to recover from my anger and shame?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 18:21-24, 26I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned from my God to follow evil. I have followed all his regulations; I have never abandoned his decrees. I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin. The Lord rewarded me for doing right. He has seen my innocence. . . . To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.Though victims have done nothing wrong, they still can feel deep guilt and shame for what has happened. We must remember that God is not hostile or angry toward incest victims. His heart breaks for the pain and shame that they carry. And God always draws near the wounded to offer his healing presence.2 Samuel 13:11-20As she [Tamar] was feeding him, he [Amnon] grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!” . . . And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house.Psalm 22:24He [the Lord] has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help.Psalm 34:18The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.Psalm 147:3He [the Lord] heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.2 Corinthians 1:3All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.Understandably, incest victims may feel angry, betrayed, ashamed, hurt, vengeful, brokenhearted, desolate, and violated. And they may be angry at God for not stopping it. We all struggle to understand why God prevents some acts of violence and not others. But we do know that God detests all acts of violence and longs to bring us emotional and physical healing. Ultimately, if we run to him for help, we will find complete healing for eternity.Psalm 119:9How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.John 17:17“Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.”Philippians 4:8Now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.To overcome any sin done against us, we should study God’s Word to find his promises of help and hope. Scripture reveals the heart and mind of God.Job 17:9“The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger.”Romans 15:16I am a special messenger from Christ Jesus to you Gentiles. I bring you the Good News so that I might present you as an acceptable offering to God, made holy by the Holy Spirit.1 Corinthians 1:30God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin.We are pure and holy because of the work of Christ Jesus on our behalf. He does not see us as violated, but as whole.

Question 4

Will God forgive me if I have been the perpetrator?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 19:32-35“Come, let’s get him [Lot] drunk with wine, and then we [Lot’s daughters] will have sex with him. That way we will preserve our family line through our father.” So that night they got him drunk with wine, and the older daughter went in and had intercourse with her father. He was unaware of her lying down or getting up again. The next morning the older daughter said to her younger sister, “I had sex with our father last night. Let’s get him drunk with wine again tonight, and you go in and have sex with him. That way we will preserve our family line through our father.” So that night they got him drunk with wine again, and the younger daughter went in and had intercourse with him. As before, he was unaware of her lying down or getting up again.Romans 3:23Everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.Jude 1:4, 18-19I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. . . . They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them.No sin is beyond God’s forgiveness, but the first step toward forgiveness is to agree with God that we have sinned—no excuses and no exceptions.Psalm 51:1-4Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.Psalm 51:10, 12, 17Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. . . . Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. . . . The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.Next, we must realize how shameful our sin has been, the suffering it has cause to others, and how ugly sin has made us on the inside. Only then can we sincerely beg for God’s mercy and forgiveness. We do this by being truly sorry for our sins, confessing those sins to God, and asking for forgiveness, which he will give us.Romans 6:17-23Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living. . . . But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.2 Corinthians 12:21Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.1 Peter 4:2-3You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.True confession must come with repentance, a commitment to turn away from our sinful lifestyles toward lives that honor God and others. We can only do this by the power of God’s Holy Spirit at work within us. The way of repentance leads to godliness and hope for a new start.Luke 7:47-50“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.” The men at the table said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins?” And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”1 Corinthians 6:9-11Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.1 John 1:9If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.Finally, we must accept God’s forgiveness and move forward in obedience to him. And we shouldn’t look back. Half-hearted repentance is no repentance at all.

Question 5

After accepting God’s forgiveness, how does a perpetrator practically move on?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 49:4“You [Reuben] are as unruly as a flood, and you will be first no longer. For you went to bed with my wife; you defiled my marriage couch.”1 Chronicles 5:1The oldest son of Israel was Reuben. But since he dishonored his father by sleeping with one of his father’s concubines, his birthright was given to the sons of his brother Joseph. For this reason, Reuben is not listed in the genealogical records as the firstborn son.Everyone needs to realize that even if we have received God’s forgiveness through a repentant heart and changed lifestyle, we still will have to bear the consequences of our sins. At the least, this may disqualify us from certain responsibilities; at the most, it may require a just punishment. God forgives and forgets, but he also punishes disobedience. So does society. Fortunately, God’s forgiveness is eternal.Romans 6:13, 19Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. . . . Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.Romans 12:1So, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.1 Corinthians 6:15, 19-20Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! . . . Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.1 Thessalonians 4:3-7God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.We must make the choice and commitment to honor God with our bodies. When we finally realize that the body is where the Holy Spirit lives, then we will understand that he will not dwell there until we have submitted to God’s work of purification.Psalm 119:9How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.Ephesians 5:1, 3Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. . . . Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.We must follow God’s example and obey what he reveals in Scripture. Our consistent reading of the Bible will keep us focused on living pure lives.Galatians 5:16So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.Ephesians 4:17-24With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. . . . Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.Philippians 2:13God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.Colossians 2:6-7Now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.Colossians 3:5-10Put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you . . . for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.We must continually submit to God, allowing him to change our thoughts and attitudes as we get to know Christ better and better and as the Holy Spirit works within us.2 Timothy 2:22Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.We should find godly companions. Walking with God is easier when we walk with others with the same desire to grow in faith and obedience.1 Corinthians 7:2Because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.Those who are married must be faithful to their spouses. The seeds of incest do not grow well in the soil of a happy marriage.1 Corinthians 6:18Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.We are told to stand against some sins; we are told to run away from others. This means guarding ourselves against situations where we are vulnerable and people who bring temptation. We should run from all sexual sins and not put ourselves in tempting situations.

Question 6

How should Christians respond to incest?

Accepted Answer

Amos 2:7They trample helpless people in the dust and shove the oppressed out of the way. Both father and son sleep with the same woman, corrupting my holy name.1 Thessalonians 4:7God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.Incest is a sin against God and must not be tolerated.2 Corinthians 12:21Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.Jude 1:7, 23Don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment. . . . Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.We should encourage perpetrators to confess their sins and repent—turning away from their sins and pursing a life of obedience to God.1 Corinthians 5:1-2I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship.1 Corinthians 5:9-11When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.If we know someone is committing incest, we must not allow it to continue, for the sake of the perpetrator and the victim. We must confront it and get help for those involved.