How did Jesus handle grief?

Isaiah 53:3-4, 10He [the Messiah] was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! . . . But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands.

Matthew 14:13-14As soon as Jesus heard the news [of John’s death], he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone. But the crowds heard where he was headed and followed on foot from many towns. Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

Luke 19:41-44As he [Jesus] came closer to Jerusalem and saw the city ahead, he began to weep. “How I wish today that you of all people would understand the way to peace. But now it is too late, and peace is hidden from your eyes. Before long your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you from every side. They will crush you into the ground, and your children with you. Your enemies will not leave a single stone in place, because you did not recognize it when God visited you.”

John 11:35-36Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!”

Mark 14:34He [Jesus] told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Jesus expressed his emotions honestly. At times, Jesus needed to be alone with his grief (such as when his cousin John the Baptist died). At other times, he sought others to share in his grief (such as before his arrest and crucifixion). Jesus wept openly over the death of a friend (Lazarus) and over a national disaster (the upcoming destruction of Jerusalem). While Jesus experienced the full range of human emotions, he chose to trust his heavenly Father, even when the path his Father gave him required facing the deepest grief. To Jesus, showing his love was worth the pain and loss that came with it.

Isaiah 61:3To all who mourn in Israel, he [the Lord] will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.

Matthew 16:21-22From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, and that he would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day he would be raised from the dead. But Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. “Heaven forbid, Lord,” he said. “This will never happen to you!”

John 16:20-22“I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.”

Luke 22:42-44“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” . . . He [Jesus] prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.

1 Peter 2:21God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.

We serve a God who made something beautiful from something as ugly and evil as death on the cross. Peter and the other disciples saw no hope in the cross until after Jesus rose from the dead. Jesus himself was in mental agony as he prepared to face the cross. Yet he did face that cross, and because he experienced that grief, we will all know a joy like none other. Though we may see only the ashes of grief right now, one day we will exchange those ashes for an eternal crown.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3, 13If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. . . . Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Revelation 21:4“He [God] will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

Grief comes from love. If we could live a life without grief in this broken world, our life would be empty and meaningless, because it would be a life without love. So we suffer grief in this life, yet we have God’s promise that one day, grief will end—and only love will remain.