What can I do when I’m having trouble making friends?

Job 19:19“My close friends detest me. Those I loved have turned against me.”

John 5:7“I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”

Everyone goes through times when their friends seem to have deserted them. When this happens, we should examine our relationships to make sure that we are not causing the breach.

1 Kings 5:1King Hiram of Tyre had always been a loyal friend of David. When Hiram learned that David’s son Solomon was the new king of Israel, he sent ambassadors to congratulate him.

Matthew 7:12“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”

Everyone wants to have good friends, but few are willing to invest the time and effort necessary to build such relationships. Even if we cannot make friends quickly and easily, we can build strong, lasting friendships over time. A helpful step would be to consider the qualities we desire in a good friend—then we can work to develop those qualities in our lives. The best way to gain good friends is to be a good friend.

John 15:15“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”

Hebrews 13:5Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

We should remember that God is our constant friend and will never leave us. If we continue to show God’s love to others, they will be drawn to us.

Ephesians 4:32Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Acts of kindness and generosity attract others to us.

Matthew 7:9-11“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Luke 18:1, 7One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. . . . “Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?”

We should ask God for good, godly friendships. The answer may not come right away, and the friendships we begin to grow may not be immediately obvious. Sometimes, God first teaches us how to be a friend before he gives us the friendships we desire. Regardless, we should continue praying in faith, knowing our Father delights in giving good gifts to his children.