Question 1

Can I truly be friends with God?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 33:11Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Afterward Moses would return to the camp, but the young man who assisted him, Joshua son of Nun, would remain behind in the Tent of Meeting.Psalm 25:14The Lord is a friend to those who fear him. He teaches them his covenant.John 15:13-15“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”James 2:23So it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God.God saw Moses and Abraham as his friends. Jesus calls those who follow him his friends—and as proof of this friendship, he laid down his life for us. As we develop a relationship with God, we develop a friendship with him. He is our Lord, but he also desires to be our friend.

Question 2

What is the mark of true friendship?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 18:1-4After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt.Proverbs 17:17A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.Loyalty and commitment are the marks of true friendship. These traits bond friendships, despite changing circumstances.

Question 3

How can I show devotion to my friends?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 20:17Jonathan made David reaffirm his vow of friendship again, for Jonathan loved David as he loved himself.Loving our friends as much as we love ourselves demonstrates our devotion to them.Proverbs 20:6Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?Luke 16:10“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”Being reliable proves your devotion to your friends. If they can lean on you during the little obstacles in life, they will be more likely to turn to you in times of greater trouble.1 John 3:17-19If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.Our actions are an outward demonstration of our devotion. Caring for the needs of others is a good way to show affection.2 Corinthians 7:15He cares for you more than ever when he remembers the way all of you obeyed him and welcomed him with such fear and deep respect.1 Peter 4:8Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.We can show our devotion and love with our eagerness to listen with enthusiasm and concern. Listening honors and respects the other person. Love and forgiveness lessen the bumps in the road on the journey of any friendship.

Question 4

What can hinder or hurt friendships?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 18:5-13Whatever Saul asked David to do, David did it successfully. . . . So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice.Jealousy is the great dividing force of friendships. Envying what a friend has will soon turn to anger and bitterness, causing us to separate ourselves from the ones we truly cared for.Psalm 41:9Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me.When trust is seriously damaged, even the closest friendship is at risk.2 Samuel 13:11As she [Tamar] was feeding him, he [Amnon] grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.”Friendships are destroyed when boundaries are violated.2 Corinthians 6:14-15Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?Not all of our friends will hold the same values or have the same relationship with God that we do. Sometimes, a point comes when a friendship is dragging us against the direction God is calling us. At those times, we may have to drift away or even sever the relationship.

Question 5

How can I turn my enemies into friends?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 5:43-47“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.”Jesus had a new concept of friendship: Love both friends and enemies. If we love our enemies, some of them will eventually be won over and become our friends. Even if they don’t seem to change, our behavior will faithfully model God’s love to them, and our prayers will bless them in ways we may never know.Genesis 50:14-21After burying Jacob, Joseph returned to Egypt with his brothers and all who had accompanied him to his father’s burial. But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said. So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said. But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.Forgiveness can restore broken relationships.

Question 6

What can I do when I’m having trouble making friends?

Accepted Answer

Job 19:19“My close friends detest me. Those I loved have turned against me.”John 5:7“I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”Everyone goes through times when their friends seem to have deserted them. When this happens, we should examine our relationships to make sure that we are not causing the breach.1 Kings 5:1King Hiram of Tyre had always been a loyal friend of David. When Hiram learned that David’s son Solomon was the new king of Israel, he sent ambassadors to congratulate him.Matthew 7:12“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”Everyone wants to have good friends, but few are willing to invest the time and effort necessary to build such relationships. Even if we cannot make friends quickly and easily, we can build strong, lasting friendships over time. A helpful step would be to consider the qualities we desire in a good friend—then we can work to develop those qualities in our lives. The best way to gain good friends is to be a good friend.John 15:15“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”Hebrews 13:5Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”We should remember that God is our constant friend and will never leave us. If we continue to show God’s love to others, they will be drawn to us.Ephesians 4:32Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Acts of kindness and generosity attract others to us.Matthew 7:9-11“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”Luke 18:1, 7One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. . . . “Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?”We should ask God for good, godly friendships. The answer may not come right away, and the friendships we begin to grow may not be immediately obvious. Sometimes, God first teaches us how to be a friend before he gives us the friendships we desire. Regardless, we should continue praying in faith, knowing our Father delights in giving good gifts to his children.

Question 7

What guidelines does the Bible offer for male-female friendships?

Accepted Answer

1 Corinthians 13:4-7Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.Paul’s timeless description of Christian love becomes the standard of respect and conduct that should mark all our relationships.Acts 16:14-15One of them was Lydia from Thyatira, a merchant of expensive purple cloth, who worshiped God. As she listened to us, the Lord opened her heart, and she accepted what Paul was saying. She and her household were baptized, and she asked us to be her guests. “If you agree that I am a true believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my home.” And she urged us until we agreed.Acts 18:18Paul stayed in Corinth for some time after that, then said good-bye to the brothers and sisters and went to nearby Cenchrea. There he shaved his head according to Jewish custom, marking the end of a vow. Then he set sail for Syria, taking Priscilla and Aquila with him.1 Timothy 5:1-2Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.Friendships with people of the opposite sex are valuable, especially since our spouse should be a good friend. As Christians, we have the responsibility to encourage our friends to grow closer to Christ regardless of their gender. The best way to keep our friendships pure is to treat our friends like our brothers and sisters. Paul gave women such as Lydia and Priscilla this kind of respect. We can do the same by training ourselves to focus on each friend’s heart—who that person really is.Matthew 5:28“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”Ephesians 5:3, 18Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. . . . Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.In dramatic contrast to much that we see in our culture, Jesus calls us to a standard of sexual purity in thought as well as in action.