Question 1

How can I best handle my emotions?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 4:23Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.Ezekiel 36:26“I [the Lord] will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”What we think about doesn’t just come from our minds; it also comes from our hearts. The Bible says, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). It is the center of the battle between the sinful nature and the new nature in Christ. It is also the center of our emotions. In other words, our emotions are constantly influenced and tainted by the sinful nature. This should make us cautious about trusting our emotions, because Satan tries to get us to think our sinful feelings are right. Guarding our hearts means rejecting Satan’s influence. For example, if we look at pornography, we let it into our hearts, and then sin taints the healthy emotion of love, turns it to lust, and begins to convince us that we deserve to enjoy sinful, selfish pleasures. The best way to guard the heart is to keep filling it with God’s Word, which comes from God’s heart and is always good and perfect.Job 7:11“I cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain.”The best way to handle our emotions is not to stifle them but rather to keep an open dialogue with the Lord and with others we trust. God loves us, and he can handle our emotional honesty, just as he has listened to the pain, frustration, fear, and anger of countless people before us. We can also share our feelings with a few godly confidants so they can help us redirect our emotions from unhealthy to healthy expressions.Ezra 3:12-13Many of the older priests, Levites, and other leaders who had seen the first Temple wept aloud when they saw the new Temple’s foundation. The others, however, were shouting for joy. The joyful shouting and weeping mingled together in a loud noise that could be heard far in the distance.A single event can produce various emotional responses. While we celebrate a rainstorm for the garden, others may mourn because it is raining on their parade. The feelings of others may be quite different from ours, even over the same event. Even if we cannot understand how others may feel, just accepting such differences is a step in the right direction. We don’t need to force others to feel the way we do, and we are not obligated to feel exactly as others do.Romans 13:14Clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.Ephesians 4:21-23Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.When we allow Christ to guide us, he will direct our emotions toward healthy behaviors.2 Peter 1:5-7Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.We often think of emotions in a negative sense, especially when they get out of control. But without emotions we cannot experience the power and deep satisfaction of a relationship with God or with other people. To prevent our emotions from controlling us is difficult. We shouldn’t deny our emotions, but neither should we let them to control us or cause us to sin. Instead, we should let our emotions deepen our fellowship with God, whether they involve sorrow or joy, anguish or peace, anger or love, doubt or gratitude. Then we will experience the drama and power of truly living in the love of Christ.

Question 2

Is it okay to show my emotions?

Accepted Answer

John 2:13-17Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He . . . turned over their tables. . . . He told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!” Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”Greed, injustice to the poor, and disrespect for God’s house roused Jesus’ anger. This world has evils that we, too, have good reason to be angry about. Anger can spur change and action. But unlike Jesus, our anger is often impure, and Satan may twist it for his own ends. Still, like Jesus, we should be passionate about what is right.Mark 6:34Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.Luke 7:12-13A funeral procession was coming out as he approached the village gate. The young man who had died was a widow’s only son, and a large crowd from the village was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart overflowed with compassion.John 11:32-35When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept.Jesus often showed his emotions. Letting others see our emotions shows how deeply we care.Matthew 26:38He [Jesus] told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”Jesus was honest with his disciples about his deep emotions. We also should feel free to be this open with trusted friends.2 Samuel 18:33The king [David] was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.”Displaying emotions is not a sign of weakness. It is, rather, a sign of our humanity and an important component of our emotional health.

Question 3

How do I control my emotions instead of letting them control me?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 22:37-40Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”Often, the best way to control our unhealthy desires and emotions is to strengthen our healthy ones. Loving God and loving others are the greatest desires we can promote. If we desire these two things more than anything else, our emotions and actions will begin to fall into place.Ephesians 4:31-32Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Love, mercy, and forgiveness can overcome the bitterness of a grudge.Mark 1:41Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!”If our emotions move us to help others, that is good. When we are moved by compassion, we should act on that emotion by helping someone in need. When moved by our love for God, we can reveal that love by loving our neighbors as ourselves.2 Samuel 5:18-19The Philistines arrived and spread out across the valley of Rephaim. So David asked the Lord, “Should I go out to fight the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?” The Lord replied to David, “Yes, go ahead. I will certainly hand them over to you.”Psalm 37:31They have made God’s law their own, so they will never slip from his path.Psalm 119:101, 105I have refused to walk on any evil path, so that I may remain obedient to your word. . . . Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.Before acting on our emotions, we should consider what God desires. Do our plans honor him and follow his will and guidance thus far? Sometimes emotions can trick us, moving us to take actions we think are good but later discover to be harmful to us and others. Before acting, we should take time to read Scripture and pray to see if our plan is in line with God’s way. Such wise caution will save us much grief down the road.Esther 3:2, 5-6All the king’s officials would bow down before Haman to show him respect whenever he passed by, for so the king had commanded. But Mordecai refused to bow down or show him respect. . . . When Haman saw that Mordecai would not bow down or show him respect, he was filled with rage. He had learned of Mordecai’s nationality, so he decided it was not enough to lay hands on Mordecai alone. Instead, he looked for a way to destroy all the Jews throughout the entire empire of Xerxes.Proverbs 14:29People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.Ephesians 4:26-27And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.Some emotions, like anger, can quickly grow out of control and cause us to do things we never imagined we could do. Because anger can overcome us, we must not let it fester. Instead, we should deal promptly with the situations that caused our anger in the first place.Ephesians 4:31-32Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Forgiving others who have wronged us keeps our emotions from becoming negative, bitter, and resentful.

Question 4

Why is it important for me to have self-control over my emotions?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 16:32Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.Proverbs 25:28A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.James 1:19-20You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.2 Peter 1:5-7Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.Self-control is the key to preventing our emotions from getting out of control. The more we recognize the specific emotions that get the better of us and the more we rely on the help of the Holy Spirit, the more we will be able to control those emotions by directing them into positive rather than negative directions.

Question 5

How do I focus on my positive emotions?

Accepted Answer

Romans 8:5-6Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.Galatians 5:22-23The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!Life’s most positive and healthy emotions are the fruit of God’s Spirit being lived out through us. The more we let the Holy Spirit control us, the less our sinful nature can control us. Then we will experience the joys of godly living.

Emotions