What does the Bible say about divorce?
Malachi 2:14-16You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
God sees divorce as wrong because it is breaking a binding commitment you made in his presence. God was a witness at your wedding. Divorce tears apart a relationship between a man and a woman whom God has bound together into one seamless whole. Divorce occurs when one or both partners make a conscious decision to break this sacred union.
Matthew 19:3-9Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
1 Corinthians 7:15If the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.
Scriptures in both the Old Testament (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Malachi 2:14-16) and New Testament (Matthew 5:31-32; 1 Corinthians 7) acknowledge the reality of divorce. Even among believers, divorce sometimes happens despite our best efforts and intentions, just like other sins. Divorce stems from sin—abuse, adultery, abandonment, etc.—and there comes a point where that sin is so contrary to the vows of marriage that divorce is the necessary solution. Where believers draw that line is a subject of debate. Scripture tells us to be loving, faithful, and respectful to our spouse, even to an unbelieving spouse (1 Peter 3:1; 1 Corinthians 7:12-16). Yet if that spouse abandons us or is unfaithful, Scripture makes it clear that we need not be bound to that spouse (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15). There are many situations in marriage that Scripture doesn’t address directly. For instance, the Bible never specifically says, “Don’t beat your wife.” Still, the idea that wife beating is acceptable in a Christian marriage is impossible to justify (Ephesians 5:28-29; Colossians 3:19). And what about sexual, emotional, financial, and verbal abuse? How severe would such abuse have to be to justify divorce? What if children are being caught in the crossfire? Sincere Christians differ on where to draw the line, since Scripture does not speak to every situation specifically and individual circumstances are complex. What is clear is this: Divorce is a terrible thing, yet due to sin, it is sometimes necessary.
2 Samuel 12:7-13Then Nathan said to David, “. . . Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. . . .” Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin.”
Psalm 51:10-12, 16-17Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. . . . You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
1 John 2:1-2My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.
God can forgive any sin. King David not only committed adultery—he murdered Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, one of David’s most faithful soldiers. David’s sin caused severe consequences for him and his family, yet God also showed him forgiveness. In Psalm 51, David expresses his sincere regret and repentance to God after these sins, and we see the beautiful truth of God’s mercy. Rather than stewing in his sin and isolating from God, David took ahold of that mercy and lived life with a renewed devotion to God—so much so that he is known as “a man after God’s own heart.” Just like David, a divorced person does not have to forfeit joy and blessing for the rest of his or her life, even if they feel guilt for their part in the divorce. God restores sinners, no matter how great the sin. When we admit our sin, are truly sorry for it, confess it to God, and commit to living more like Jesus, God forgets our sin and allows us to move on. While God clearly lists in the Bible what he considers sin (and divorce is on that list), he also clearly explains how to be forgiven. Whether your marriage is restored or not, God longs for us to have a restored relationship with him.
