How can I move forward as a single person?

1 Corinthians 7:17Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.

1 Corinthians 7:32-38I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. . . . So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.

Make the most of your singleness by wholeheartedly serving the Lord. It will be through your service that you find what God most wants for you—whether to be single or married.

Psalm 77:3I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help.

Proverbs 25:20Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. . . . A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Romans 12:15Weep with those who weep.

Ephesians 4:26-27“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, and do not give the devil a foothold.

1 Peter 5:7Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Following a divorce, emotions continue to swirl and simmer. Give yourself time to process those emotions in an honest, healthy way. If we ignore or stifle those emotions, they will fester inside us and express themselves in unhealthy ways.

Matthew 10:16“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.”

2 Corinthians 7:10The kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.

Philippians 1:9-10I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.

James 1:5If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

After the dust has settled, we may wonder what went wrong—and that is a wise question to ask. It is healthy to learn from the past so we can turn away from the unhealthy patterns that trap us there. Were you drawn to the wrong qualities in a spouse? Do you regret the way you handled relational conflict? Are you still uncovering the lies of an abuser? Think critically about the situation. God longs for us to repent, to mature, to take the next step forward—and he is eager to guide us on our way. We can pray for the right mind and the right heart for approaching this new season of life.

Song of Songs 8:4Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

Everyone’s situation is different, and everyone reacts differently to their situation. After divorce, we may go through a number of different thoughts and emotions regarding remarriage. Some may scramble for a new relationship immediately and fall back into the same kind of unhealthy relationship that led to their divorce. Others may be scarred and cynical, preferring to struggle with sexual temptation than to trust their heart to someone else. Still others may embrace the benefits of singleness like the apostle Paul—some for a time, some for life. There is no universally “right” time or “right” choice, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to pursue any of these choices. Take the time and emotional space to consider your choice wisely.