Question 1

What are the benefits of discipline?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 119:67I used to wander off until you disciplined me; but now I closely follow your word.Discipline can keep us following God’s Word; this will save us much grief and heartache.Proverbs 6:23Their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life.Hebrews 12:11No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.God’s way is the best way to live. But a life of joy, satisfaction, and purpose doesn’t just happen. It takes a plan. And discipline keeps us on track—it is the light that helps us always see the plan so we don’t forget it.

Question 2

What is the purpose of discipline?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 8:5“Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.”Hebrews 12:7-8As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.The goal of discipline is to prevent us from harming ourselves and others, which in turn promotes healthy relationships. It is an act of love. Sin always damages our relationship with God and others because sin is selfish. God’s discipline is an act of love to keep us from damaging our most important relationships and to help us become the people he created us to be. Left to ourselves, we always tend to move away from God and toward sin. God’s discipline reminds us why a relationship with him is best. We should have the same motive when disciplining our children. Loving discipline is character building, but angry punishment can destroy a person’s sense of self-worth.Psalm 94:12Joyful are those you discipline, Lord, those you teach with your instructions.Effective discipline sets us on the right path, making us thankful to once again be going the right way. Discipline ultimately leads us to a life of joy.Proverbs 12:1To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.Discipline is essential to developing skill, maturity, and character.Proverbs 1:1-3These are the proverbs of Solomon, David’s son, king of Israel. Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair.The biblical concept of discipline is summarized in the introduction to the book of Proverbs. As Solomon wrote Proverbs to disciple his people—to teach them how to live, act, and be just and fair—so God wrote his Word to disciple us in the way he wants us to live.

Question 3

Why does God discipline his children?

Accepted Answer

Hebrews 12:7As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?God disciplines us as a loving Father because he wants the best for us.Deuteronomy 8:5“Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.”Psalm 119:75I know, O Lord, that your regulations are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it.God disciplines because we need it. Without his discipline, we would not learn to live unselfishly and generously.Jeremiah 31:18“I have heard Israel saying, ‘You disciplined me severely, like a calf that needs training for the yoke. Turn me again to you and restore me, for you alone are the Lord my God.’”God disciplines us because we deserve it.Isaiah 38:16Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You restore my health and allow me to live!God disciplines us to bring about our restoration and healing.1 Corinthians 11:32Yet when we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned along with the world.God disciplines us to protect us from being condemned.

Question 4

How should I discipline my children?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 13:24Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.Our motive for discipline needs to be love. Discipline is about relationships, not rules. It is about safety, not retaliation. Our goal should not be revenge, but restoration; not to taunt, but to teach and redeem trust.Proverbs 19:18Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.We must discipline our children when they need it—before it is too late. Proper discipline puts our children back on the right path. If someone wanders off the path, it is much easier to find it again if they are just a few feet from it. But if they have gone far off the path, it’s very difficult to find the way back. They are in danger of being hopelessly lost.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.We must never discipline in anger. It is difficult to make a good decision when consumed by anger. In that case, our emotions drive our thoughts and actions. Discipline given in anger is too often spiteful and harsh, leading to shame rather than restoration.Colossians 3:21Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.We are to discipline without causing aggravation and discouragement. Discipline will bring conflict and your kids will probably get mad at you. But aggravation is caused by constant nagging that undermines your child’s sense of worth instead of focusing on the immediate problem at hand.Hebrews 12:10Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.We must discipline with godly wisdom, Every parent will make some mistakes when disciplining their children. Since God’s discipline is always best, we need to constantly seek his wisdom. Remember, God’s wisdom comes from his Word, but it also comes from godly people who have been in his Word and practiced discipline.

Question 5

How do I know if my discipline is too much, if I am being too harsh?

Accepted Answer

Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Colossians 3:21Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.Overly strong discipline will create more undesirable behavior. To discipline harshly may produce a harsh response. A child may rebel or simply stop trying to do what’s right.

Question 6

Could my troubles actually be God disciplining me?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 3:11-12My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.Zephaniah 3:2No one can tell [Jerusalem] anything; it refuses all correction. It does not trust in the Lord or draw near to its God.Like Jerusalem in the time of Zephaniah, we can stubbornly refuse to listen to God or anyone else, ignoring the correction that would help us. When we get to that point, we are rebelling against God, and the only thing that will get our attention is his discipline. We need to stay open to God’s correction in our lives, trusting his direction through his Word and our brothers and sisters in Christ. We have to be careful, however, not to immediately assume that our trouble, or the trouble of someone else, is the discipline of God. If we are sincerely trying to follow him as best we can, chances are that there is another reason for our adversity.

Question 7

How should discipline in the church be handled?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 18:15-17“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”If you have an issue with another believer, if you are convinced he or she has sinned against you or fallen into a sinful habit, then go to that person and confront them in private. If the person does not listen, and you are convinced there is still a problem, go back with one or two others who feel the same way. If the person still refuses to listen and make any changes, take the matter to the church leaders. Remember that the goal of discipline is not to judge or condemn but to reconcile yourself with the other person so you can live in harmony. As difficult as this may be, it is better than the alternative that often occurs: cutting off the relationship due to anger or resentment, seeking revenge, or gossiping about the person’s sin. None of these are healthy for you or the church.1 Corinthians 5:13As the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”Titus 3:10If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them.If a person continues in flagrant sin after repeated warnings, or if he or she is causing division in the church and refuses to stop, then it is appropriate to expel that person from the fellowship.2 Corinthians 2:5-7I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him.When the church gives united disapproval, forgiveness and comfort are in order if the person repents. Do not shut out a fellow believer who is genuinely repentant.2 Thessalonians 3:14-15Stay away from them so they will be ashamed. Don’t think of them as enemies, but warn them as you would a brother or sister.Christians who do not repent of sin should not be treated as though everything is all right. They need to be warned of the consequences of their continued sin.