Question 1

Is it okay to want something?

Accepted Answer

1 Kings 3:5That night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!”Proverbs 13:12Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.Desire is good and healthy if directed toward the proper object: that which is good and right and God-honoring. It is ironic that the same basic desire can be right or wrong, depending on our motives and the focus of our desire. For example, the desire to love a woman, if directed to your wife, is healthy and right. But that same desire directed to someone who is not your spouse is adultery. The desire to lead an organization is healthy if your motive is to serve others, but unhealthy and wrong if your motive is to gain the power to control others.Psalm 73:25I desire you more than anything on earth.Isaiah 26:8Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying your laws; our heart’s desire is to glorify your name.Jeremiah 29:13“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”Our greatest desire should be to have a deep, personal relationship with God, because he is the only one who can truly satisfy us. When we find our satisfaction first in God, all our other desires will find their proper place.

Question 2

How do I know if my desires are right or wrong?

Accepted Answer

Judges 14:3Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.”Selfish desires take only ourselves into account. We become so obsessed with what we want that we don’t care if it is what God would want, if it’s actually good for us, or if it would harm others.Romans 6:12Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires.1 Corinthians 3:3You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?Philippians 4:8Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.Desiring sin is always wrong. Make sure the object of your desire is good, consistent with God’s Word, and not harmful to others.

Question 3

How do evil desires grow in me?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 29:18“I am making this covenant with you so that no one among you—no man, woman, clan, or tribe—will turn away from the Lord our God to worship these gods of other nations, and so that no root among you bears bitter and poisonous fruit.”James 4:2-3You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.Our desires may start out to be simple and even good. But if we let any desire become more of a priority than it should be, a seed is planted quietly, without fanfare or drums, without malice or evil intent—and we simply take a step away from God. With the second and third steps, we move farther from God, and the bitter, poisonous fruit of desire or lust begins to grow until we cannot control it.

Question 4

How can I resist evil desires?

Accepted Answer

James 3:13If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.Keep yourself busy with good deeds.Matthew 6:13“And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.”Pray that good desires will overcome bad ones.2 Chronicles 34:33So Josiah removed all detestable idols from the entire land of Israel and required everyone to worship the Lord their God.Remove the source of temptation from your life as much as possible.Colossians 3:2Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.Fill your mind with God and thoughts that honor him.Proverbs 15:22Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.Find a person willing to help you. We all need people who will encourage us and hold us accountable. God gave us other believers to help us in our walk with him.

Question 5

Can God help me change the desires of my heart? How?

Accepted Answer

Ezekiel 36:26“I [the Lord] will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”Romans 7:5-6Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.2 Corinthians 5:17This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!When we give control of our lives to God, he gives us a new heart, a new nature, and a new desire to please him.Ezra 1:5Then God stirred the hearts of the priests and Levites . . . to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the Temple of the Lord.God stirs our hearts with right desires. It is up to us to act upon them.

Question 6

Is it wrong to desire my husband or wife sexually?

Accepted Answer

Song of Songs 7:10I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.God has built a fire in the hearts of men and women to desire one another sexually. It is a natural, beautiful, God-given gift. But outside God’s plan of marriage, this fire can blaze up and devour a person. We must control our passions whether we are married or not so that we avoid sexual sin. For those who are married, it is important that our sexual desires are only directed toward our spouse. If we do not control our sexual desires within the bounds of marriage, we will destroy trust in our marriage, which will lead to broken relationships with our spouse and with God.

Question 7

How do I handle the desire to have what my neighbor has?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 5:21“You must not covet your neighbor’s wife. You must not covet your neighbor’s house or land, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.Seeing our neighbor with “more” (or even “better”) lights a fire in us. Uncontrolled, this flickering fire blazes into godless passion, lust, and covetousness, and we ask questions like, Why can’t I have a home that nice? a husband that talented? a wife that beautiful? a bank account that big? In asking such questions, we risk stirring the fires of desire and wanting to take something from our neighbor. Instead, we should focus on the blessings God has given us and ask him to help us be thankful for those things.

Desires