Question 1

How can I avoid being co-dependent?

Accepted Answer

Galatians 1:10Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.1 Thessalonians 2:4We speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.Co-dependence often involves excessive people-pleasing. The Apostle Paul understood that he could not fulfill his ministry of sharing the Good News if he was trying to get the approval of people. If you find yourself constantly worried about pleasing others, this can become your focus instead of following Christ. Sometimes you can make the change yourself; other times, you might need the help of a counselor to work through your tendencies.

Question 2

How can church leaders avoid co-dependence?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 19:16-22Someone came to Jesus with this question: “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” . . . Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.Church leaders need to consistently teach God’s truth, no matter how influential their listeners might be. They cannot compromise the Lord’s standards or merely give in to the loudest voices. A leader might be tempted to please people by avoiding the truth that the gospel requires commitment. When this rich young man discovered that he was not yet fully committed, Jesus did not lower his requirements. Leaders cannot protect people from the consequences of their choices. This is perhaps the hardest part of leadership—letting others flounder or even fail when they fail to heed biblical truth.John 6:61, 66-67Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you?” . . . At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?”Church leaders, like all Christians, should follow Jesus’s example. In this case, Jesus gave difficult teachings, knowing that many of his followers who turn away, not wanting to accept them. Leaders must never apologize or water down the truths of Scripture, nor can they allow themselves to get entangled in covering over sin.

Co-dependency