How can I help other brokenhearted people?

Psalm 69:20Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.

You can give your attention, empathy, and comfort to the brokenhearted. Realize you may well be a vehicle for God’s compassion simply by listening to a hurting person. Insults and cruel words are abrasive, wounding the heart. Attention, empathy, and comfort are therapeutic, healing the heart.

Job 16:1-2, 5-6Then Job spoke again: “I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! . . . But if it were me, I would encourage you. I would try to take away your grief. Instead, I suffer if I defend myself, and I suffer no less if I refuse to speak.”

You can be slow to blame people for their own pain. Job had experienced a depth of loss most of us can hardly imagine. His children were dead, his possessions were ruined or stolen, his health was wrecked, and his friends were bent on helping him see that it was all his fault. He was brokenhearted! Job’s “miserable comforters” provide the perfect bad example of how to respond to a friend’s suffering.

Proverbs 17:22A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

You can be aware how grief affects a person’s spirit, mind, and body. Awareness leads to sympathy, sympathy leads to helping the wounded, and helping leads to a time of healing. Ask God to help you see the wounds of others, and be willing to help when he does.

Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

You can share in others’ sorrow as surely as you can share in their joy. Both these expressions of love can be real ministries to others.

2 Corinthians 1:4[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

You can share your own experiences of God’s comfort. Others may find healing in your words, and your own pain can be healed more deeply as God gives it a new purpose. In bringing comfort, you may also comforted.

1 Peter 5:12I have written and sent this short letter to you with the help of Silas, whom I commend to you as a faithful brother. My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God’s grace for you. Stand firm in this grace.

You can encourage the brokenhearted. Words of comfort can lift up the hurting person. Ask God to show you the presence of his grace in someone’s painful experience.

Job 21:34How can your empty clichés comfort me? All your explanations are lies!

You can listen quietly rather than speaking unwisely. We don’t help others when we try to rationalize away their pain or tell them we know how they’re feeling. And we can cause added pain by answering questions they haven’t asked or by giving easy answers to complex questions. The best comfort includes a generous dose of silence and humble advice.

1 Thessalonians 3:7We have been greatly encouraged in the midst of our troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith.

You can use your own faith to support others. Believers often lean on the faith of other believers as we weather the storms and troubles of our lives.

Romans 1:12When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.

You can remain strong in your own faith. Those weakened by hurt are encouraged to see others who have overcome similar hurt. And those who reach out with comfort sooner or later discover themselves to be comforted.

Job 42:11All [Job’s] brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him because of all the trials the Lord had brought against him. And each of them brought him a gift of money and a gold ring.

You can celebrate healing. It is a joyful process to watch someone mend after a broken heart. We can become part of God’s comfort as we remind them that God has been with them throughout the painful experience.

Mark 16:10[Mary Magdalene] went to the disciples, who were grieving and weeping, and told them what had happened.

You can be the bearer of good news. But remember what Mary discovered when the rushed to tell the disciples Jesus had risen: They didn’t believe her. Be patient with the brokenhearted. It may take time for them to receive your gesture of hope.